Tag Archives: Sheldon Brown

Diary of a Sports Lunatic

Stardate 042609. Feeling quite pleased with the Phillies three-game sweep of the Marlins. Truly filleted their bullpen. Opportunistic bats storm to the forefront. Jamie Moyer doesn’t drink cocktails, he sips from the fountain of youth. Cameron Maybin looks like a lost puppy at the plate. Raul Ibanez is the only man on the planet who has my full-fledged support to sport the soul patch. Need – desperately – to get tickets for next weekend’s series against the Mets.

And so our journey begins. Surely, there was no way to get tickets directly through the Phillies. Other mediums had to be explored, and thus, my roommate Lucy and I were forced into the most despicable of predicaments – dealing with online scalpers.

What a depraved, dishonest and dispassionate man the online scalper is. Hording away tickets that otherwise well-intentioned fans might purchase in order to make himself a buck. It’s bad enough that the Phillies have begun to attract teeny-boppers and frat boys who experiment with steroids, all attending in the name of “making the scene”; now, an honest fan can’t even buy a damn ticket at face value. Where were you during the Gregg Jeffries’ years, you bandwagon barbarians? Playing twister with all of the pink-jersey’d Eagles groupies, I’d imagine.

Ridiculous.

Though I will suffer them so long as they yell loudly when the real fans yell, and don’t make a complete mockery of the True Philadelphia Fan by stooping to the level of mindless marauder, feeding into the Exploitative National Media’s stock definition of our people.

That I cannot tolerate.

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Specccccccctacular – Sheldon Brown wants out

As seen on ESPN (and directed to check there by the comments section at IgglesBlog), Sheldon Brown wanted to renegotiate his contract. The Eagles said no. Now,  Sheldon wants a trade.

Damnit.

You know, I was still enjoying the buzz from yesterday. I was feeling good about Jason Peters coming to town, and the prospect of the Eagles drafting a guy like Knowshon Moreno. And now this has to go and happen. Friggin’ awesome. Continue reading

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Shave them playoff beards – The Pundit finds five reasons for the Eagles’ defeat

I’ve gotta say, I’m still a bit shell shocked. Sure, this game had potential disaster written all over it; after all, it seemed as though this team was destined for a title. Got a little bit ahead of ourselves, didn’t we? Tomorrow morning, I’ll put out a post arguing that we had misinterpreted this team for much of the season, and yesterday was just the cherry on the top of a slew of strange Sundays. For now, I’ll quickly list the top five reasons our Birds tasted defeat yesterday.

1. Jim Johnson Continue reading

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A game for the Birds – The Pundit projects an Eagles win in his NFC Championship Preview

While pondering how the Eagles vs. Cardinals game will go down, I hit a few bumps on the objective road I attempt to navigate. (Editor’s note: Oh, right, Objective Road…that intersects with Corny Cliche Lane, right?) Number one: I really want the Eagles to win. Number two: I really can’t imagine the Cardinals making the Super Bowl. I mean, I can’t fathom it. It’s this odd combination of their regular season, and the, ahem, shoddy past of the organization.

Try as I might, I just can’t foresee the Eagles losing. Which is probably not a good thing.

By the way, has this felt like the longest friggin’ week ever to anyone else? The Giants game seems like a lifetime ago. I think it’s because all I can really think about right now is football, and much of the city seems to have the same mindset. To any aspiring criminals out there – I suggest planning heists for Sunday, say between three and seven. Should go down without a hitch.

But don’t wear red. ‘Cuz on Sunday, that’ll get ya beat. The preview after the jump.

Don't even think about it, buddy.

Don't be tryin' to steal anything around here wearing those colors, buddy - Philly ain't havin' none of it this week.

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The Pundit’s game notes from one of the worst Eagles games ever

From the Editor: The Pundit is so enraged right now by the effort displayed by the Eagles offense in their 13-13 tie, he only submitted his unedited notes from the game and said, “Here – you deal with this.” Thanks, Pundit. Here are his slightly edited notes, just in case you felt like reliving the train wreck that was this game.

Another three and out to start the game – McNabb throws high to Westbrook on a short swing route than overthrows an open Curtis in the middle of the field which would have given the Eagles a first down.

I just saw Joselio Hanson in the game – but not Lito Sheppard. Why?

Two straight three and outs. Spectacular start.

Engagement ring commercials are so sad – they always make it seem like the woman is super excited about getting the ring, not about getting married -“sure, he’s a questionable guy to settle down with, but look at this rock – I had to say yes!”

Good job by the Eagles defense of knocking the Bengals out of field goal range after they had the ball around the thirty – a sack by Trent Cole and then Joselio Hanson on a delayed blitz

McNabb gets sacked trying to scramble, fumbles the ball, and Frostee Rucker picks it up, takes it to the 1 yard line. If I was a drug dealer, my alias would be Frostee – ‘cuz I’m the snow man, bitches! I makes it rain ‘cuz I makes it snow, ya dig? (Editor’s note: Oh dear God…)

Good job by the Eagles defense of bailing out McNabb and holding the Bengals to a field goal after they started with the ball on the 1 yard line.

The Eagles had three yards of offense in the first quarter – I repeat, three fucking yards of offense in the first quarter.

Nice screen play to Buckhalter, 44 yarder. I heart Correll Buckhalter. (Editor’s note: Feeling a little fruity there, Pundit?)

Wow. L.J. Smith is actually involved in the offense early on in the game.

David Akers hits a field goal longer than 40 yards! A 42 yarder! Whooo!

Thank God for Trent Cole – already two sacks in this game.

Antonio Chatman gets JACKED UP on a wideout screen and fumbles, which is recovered by Darren Howard. Way to earn that paycheck, buddy.

Eagles complete a pass with 2:25 left on the clock in the first half, and allow it to run into the 2 minute warning. Granted, they have the ball on the 50 yard line, but is this good clock management? Should they have tried to get another play off before the 2 minute warning?

McNabb throws a pick right to Bengals linebacker Brandon Johnson. He was trying to loft one on a seam route to L.J. Smith – an absolutely awful, awful pass that cost the Eagles at least a field goal, and may set the Bengals up for one of their own

Bengals get a touchdown out of McNabb’s interception – specccccctacular. Fitzpatrick does a nice job adjusting to and beating the blitz, hits T.J. Whateverhislastnameis on a post route, who was being covered by Joselio Hanson. Was Lito on the field?

After Shayne Graham puts the kickoff out of bounds, Donovan throws a nice pass to DeSean Jackson to get the Eagles in field goal range – then a McNabb pass bounces off of Kevin Curtis’ shoulder and into the hands of the Bengals. Looked as though Donovan’s throw caught Curtis off guard, which seems to be a timing thing.

Thus concludes perhaps the worst, most pathetic half of football I have ever watched the Eagles play – I am disgusted right now. (Editor’s note: You don’t say).

We begin where we left off – Demps bobbles the kickoff, Eagles to start their first drive on the 11.

And the Eagles go three and out to start the half – I would be having a better time getting a root canal then I am having watching this game.

Talking about Fitzpatrick and his Harvard education, Goose says “Hey, Harvard – they teach a lot of stuff there.” Thanks for that Ivy League insight, Goose.

Shayne Graham field goal, 13-3 lead for the Bengals. I repeat: 13-3 lead for the 1-8 Bengals. Unbelievable.

Good job by McNabb scrambling, nice pass to Hank Baskett, who does a great job running with the ball after the catch. Another big play for Hank, who seems to be good for 1 or 2 of them a game. Big 57 yards, maybe that will wake up this offense.

Touchdown pass to L.J. smith, Eagles do a nice job answering the field goal with a touchdown of their own, and maybe, just maybe we’re back in this game.

Eagles defense has played well, granted against the Bengals. They three and out the Bengals offense once again.

Another terrible interception by McNabb, trying for the seam to L.J. again, who was being blanketed. A really awful throw by McNabb.

Bengals go for it on 4 and 16 at the Eagles 33 – they obviously didn’t want to go for the field goal there, but why not punt it?

McNabb almost throws another interception! What the fuck is wrong with him today? (Editor’s note: Must not have had his Chunky Soup).

Chris Clemons gets a sack – I forgot he was on the Eagles.

Curtis is wide open, drops a perfect pass. Goose says it best: “That was just really bad placement – right in the hands”

Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod – the Eagles converted a fourth and short on a McNabb quarterback sneak! I am so happy right now!

Akers ties it at 13. Oh man, we are set up for a super exciting finish – actually, I just think I’ll be super excited when this game ends. (Editor’s note: Amen to that, brotha).

The Bengals get a delay of game call on a fake punt. Ahahahahahahahahahaha, to be a Bengals fan must be so painful on a daily basis.

Eagles punt the ball with 2 minutes left, then three and out the Bengals, breaking up two passes, only 16 seconds came off of the clock. If it weren’t for a stellar defensive effort today, and the fact that we’re playing the Bengals, the Eagles would have gotten crushed today based upon their offensive effort. (Editor’s note: I don’t know if it was intended, but there is definitely a double entendre on the word “offensive” today).

Eagles proceed to waste only 22 seconds, go three and out, hooray. Though, on the third and ten, Westbrook got basically tackled before the ball got to him by, of all fucking people, Dhani Jones – aggggghhhhhhhh!

Chris Clemons makes another play, decking the running back during a screen pass – when did we pick him up? Oh, we signed him to a huge deal in the offseason? Riiiiiiigggghhhhht. (Editor’s note: In all seriousness, though, Clemons did play a nice game for the Eagles today).

Eagles get their 7th sack of the game, and the Bengals go 3 and out once again – thank you for your efforts, defense. If the Eagles win, you get all the credit.

Oh man, I am so excited right now – this unbelievably exciting game is going to overtime! I could watch football of this caliber for days and days and days at a time. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go find some rope and a high ceiling.

Why did “Nugget Alert” just pop up on the bottom-left of my television screen? Is Goose getting baked on the sidelines? Mmmmmmm…baked goose.

The Bengals, inexplicably, try to run the ball on a third and six play. Bad audible by Fitzpatrick. Thank God we are playing the Bengals today.

Suddenly, the Eagles can’t stop getting penalties. Unreal. We’ve cost ourselves, during the second offensive drive of the overtime, 20 yards, without counting the 15 yard play that was negated by Kevin Curtis’ offensive pass interference. Ugly, ugly football being played today by this offense.

Sav Rocca’s punts have been absolutely atrocious today. I am just so angry and ornery right now – this game has not been good for my blood pressure. (Editor’s note: If you don’t have anything nice to say…)

Asante Samuel makes another solid play, breaking up a pass to The Human Being Formerly Known as Chad Johnson, setting up a huge 3rd and 11 for the Bengals.

Huuuuuge sack by Darren Howard, the Birds’ 8th of the game, and they will get the ball back with a chance to FINALLY win this damn game.

And the Eagles fucking blow it and go fucking three and out – again! I am so infuriated right now – I’m hate typing right now. It’s the only positive way I can release all of my rage. If I were to see a bald eagle flying around right now, I’d shoot it out of the sky. That’s how pissed I am at this Eagles team, specifically their offense right now.

I am so sick and tired of the unnecessary roughing the passer penalties that are littering every NFL game. They called one on Sheldon Brown on a perfectly legitimate hit, which put the Bengals in field goal range – unacceptable. This roughing the passer business needs to be seriously discussed in the offseason.

And Shayne Graham misses what would have been a game winning, 47 yard field goal attempt. Does anybody want to win this game?

And thus ends a 13-13 tie. Honestly, this was one of, if not the worst football game I have ever watched. Anything positive I had previously posted about the eagles making the postseason pretty much just went out the window. Playoff teams don’t play 13-13 games against 1-8 football teams. BOOOOOOOO!!!

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The Pundit finally writes about the Sixers…no, wait, he’s just more interested in the Eagles, like everyone else

So, I was planning on writing a  tongue-in-cheek post about how the Sixers aren’t playing really well because no one cares about them yet, and won’t until the Eagles are done for the year. I was going to joke about how they were like a little kid who gets in trouble when Mom and Dad aren’t around, but behave well once they are. I was going to reference the slow start last year, and it was going to be a fine and dandy post.

But I’d rather just write about the Eagles.

Chad Johnson: An Eagle in 2009?

I mean, it sounds like he’d be down. An excerpt from the Philly Inquirer today:

But you can’t put it past McNabb, or for that matter Johnson, for trying to lay some groundwork for 2009. Johnson is under contract with the Bengals through 2011, and while they weren’t willing to trade Johnson this past off-season, one never knows what will happen after this season.

“I’ve always been a fan of [McNabb], and especially Philly,” Johnson said. “The fans in Philly are the real deal, and that would be a real joy to give them a treat.”

So are you back to saying you want to get traded, Chad?

“Oh, yeah. OK. Next question,” Johnson said.

Could I get into seeing The Human Being Formerly Known as Chad Johnson playing for the Eagles? Um, yeah, I suppose I could get used to the idea. But let’s be honest: the Eagles will go out and pick up a guy like Bobby Engram and be way, way too over hyped about the pick-up. Lorenzo Booker, anyone? Let’s be honest: we’ve all become totally jaded toward any personnel moves the Eagles make. Which is the perfect segue for the next boldfaced topic:

Is Andy Reid nearing his end?

Some people seem to think he should be. Like every radio host in Philadelphia not named Howard Eskin. And apparently, Jason Whitlock, who ranked Andy Reid as the worst coach in football this year. Wow.

Twice this season Reid has taken the game out of the hands of Donovan McNabb and tried to win at crunch time with his running game. Here’s a coach who loves to throw on damn near every down except when the game is on the line. I also blame Reid for the Eagles failing to trade a second-round draft pick for Tony Gonzalez. Other than the one season with Terrell Owens, McNabb has made a living throwing the ball to the James Thrashes of the world. It’s ridiculous. I’m convinced the Eagles don’t want to win it all.

Now, I haven’t exactly been pleased with Andy Reid and many of his decisions this year, and I wouldn’t have given up a number two for Tony Gonzalez (Editor’s note: I guess The Pundit doesn’t think his shit stinks or something). But the worst coach in the NFL? I think that is sheer mularky. I mean, what about the amazing job Rod Marinelli has done in Detroit? Or Wade Phillips in Dallas, who has a whole lot more talent to work with than Reid does. Go ahead, make the Romo argument – they are still playing like a team of uncontested egos that lack a strong, central leader to guide their ship. Listen, I don’t think Andy should be the GM, but I’m not ready to give up on him yet as a coach. Are his two-minute drills atrocious? Yeah, they are. Should they be running the ball more? Hmmm, funny I should ask:

Are the Eagles starting to get tired of their one-dimensional offense?

Well, at least one prominent Eagle, Brian Westbrook, thinks they should be running the ball more consistently.

Westbrook said the Eagles don’t always show enough commitment to running plays when things are going poorly.

“We don’t always have it, no,” he said. “At some points in some games, we have it. At some points in other games, we don’t. I think there are situations at times when we probably should have more commitment to the run.”

– and –

“If you don’t get those carries, then you don’t really establish a rhythm,” Westbrook said. “It’s tough to do it with a couple carries here, a couple carries there.”

Listen: I guarantee you, Westbrook isn’t the only Eagle feeling this way. He’s just one of the guys, like McNabb, that is allowed to say these things. To me, this does not reflect well on the perception the players have of their head coach. They aren’t buying into his scheme, and to be frank, they shouldn’t be – it has been flawed. So, if the perception of the head coach from the fans, the national media, the local media, and the players isn’t positive, um, how secure is Mr. Reid? James Beale over at The Sports Complex makes a valid point:

Jeffrey Lurie is a man concerned about his image and the image of his team.  With fans clamoring for Reid’s head – and prominent national columnists joining the fight – barring an appearance in the NFC championship game, Reid won’t make it to next season.

I think Reid is safe if this team makes the playoffs, but if they fail to do that, he could be in trouble. Do I think Jeffrey Lurie will be loyal to the man that led the Eagles to 4 NFC Championship games? Yeah, probably. Do I think he’ll let the guy who drafted Donovan McNabb, Brian Westbrook, Trent Cole, Lito Sheppard, Sheldon Brown, Shawn Andrews and DeSean Jackson remain as the team’s GM? Probably, though I really think Andy should just focus on coaching. I was waiting to see how long things would get back to normal after the Phillies won the World Series; I should have known a loss to the Giants would get us back into the swing of things.

Hey, at least if the ‘Iggles blow it, we’ve always got the Sixers and Flyers, right?

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Eagles Roundtable: Talking out the Lito Drama

So, after Sheldon Brown lashed out at “agent fatale” Drew Rosenhaus for his remarks that Lito should probably be starting, the Lito Sheppard situation finally reached another plateau (Editor’s note: Or a pretty silly low). Really, isn’t it time for all of the parties to sit down and talk amongst themselves? (Editor’s note: Here’s a topic: Rhode Island. Neither a road, nor an island. Discuss). The Pundit thinks so, and thus, employing his impressive networking abilities, has brought the players in this saga together to talk this out. (Editor’s note: Let’s reword that sentence: The Pundit thinks so, and thus, employing a disturbing and overactive imagination, has made up a dialogue between Andy Reid, Drew Rosenhaus, Lito Sheppard, a nameless Philly sportswriter, and Sheldon Brown).

Sheldon Brown: Keep my name out of your mouth, Rosenhaus. You don’t know me, motherfu@&*#! I been here 7 years, bitch.

Sportswriter: How does it make you feel when your agent insults your teammate, Lito?

Lito Brown: Hey, I mean, you know that I personally would never insult a teammate. That being said, I mean, I can’t be telling Drew how to do his job, you dig? If he thinks that calling out my teammate will get me paid, then SHOW ME THE MONEY! But like I said, I would never call out a teammate to get what I want. Sheldon’s my dawg.

Drew Rosenhaus: What was said has nothing to do with what I think about Sheldon – we just feel that Lito is an unbelievably great corner who deserves to start. Even if that means he should be taking a spot away from a safety or defensive linemen, or Brian Westbrook.  Hell, I don’t care who has to go, Lito is one of the classic football players ever. EVER! I have nothing but respect for Sheldon Brown, but I am getting paid by Lito Sheppard, so start his ass so that when he leaves the Eagles, we each get paid more.

Sportswriter: Andy, what is your response to all of the talk that Lito should be starting?

Andy Reid: Hey listen, you know, we’re going to do what gives us the best chance to win. Right now, we feel like we’re doing what gives us the best chance to win.

Sportswriter: So are you saying that Sheldon Brown starting gives you a better chance to win than starting Lito Sheppard?

Andy Reid: We feel really good about the rotation we’ve got in place, we’ll be putting three really good corners out on the field a whole lot this year. We feel real good about that.

Sportswriter: Andy, do you have the ability to actually answer a question.

Andy Reid: I feel very good about the answers that I gave – I’m going to stick with those answers.

Drew Rosenhaus: Andy, its time to get something done. Lito either needs to get paid, get a trade, or start every play. Damn I’m clever!

Andy Reid: Yeah, about that. Not going to happen. We have all of the leverage right now. We’re not going to resign him this year; he’s been too injury prone to go and give a long-term deal. We won’t trade him, because nobody else in the NFL is going to put out for a guy they think may be injury prone, and we’re holding out for a bounty. And, this is a business, so we’ll start Sheldon, because we don’t need to piss off a guy we figure will be an Eagle for years to come. You’re stuck, Lito, and you know it. Sit out, or play like crap, and you won’t get paid next year. Got ya, bitch (Editor’s note: Oh c’mon, even in an imaginary dialogue, Andy Reid wouldn’t curse).

Lito Sheppard: (Seen pouting and pacing in a huff) I made two Pro Bowls, damnit. I’m a really good player when I’m not hurt. Seriously, this entire offseason has really been bad for my ego. You’re all jerks!

Drew Rosenhaus: (Now dressed in a monkey suit and dancing around on a table) Oh Andy, I’ve got a little surprise for you. Hey Sheldon, come close, you can see too. (Rosenhaus pulls out his, um, yeah, you know what he pulls out, and starts taking a leak on Reid and Brown). Is this what it is going to take to get something done? I didn’t want to bring out the monkey suit and start up the pissing dance, but I’ve got nothing left. If this doesn’t work, I don’t know what will. Damn, I’m a whiz! (Editor’s note: Groan).

Sportswriter: Lito, what do you think about your agent peeing all over your coach and good friend, Sheldon Brown?

Lito Sheppard: I mean, I would never do this personally. But if that’s what Drew has got to do, then that is what Drew has got to do. I mean, he’s the agent, not me. Interesting tactics, I admit, but you’ve got to talk to Drew about that. Drew gotta be Drew, and Lito gotta be Lito, and damn the consequences. Yo Sheldon, here dawg, here’s a handkerchief. We’ll probably need to hug in front of the cameras after this.

Sportswriter: Andy, does this latest tactic change anything between Lito and the Eagles? Is peeing on somebody crossing the line?

Andy Reid: We’re moving forward. End of story. As for whether or not peeing on somebody is crossing the line, hey, you know, everybody can try what they want. That being said, we’re not going to respond to that. Not going to happen.

Sheldon Brown: (Seen beating Drew Rosenhaus unmercifully). FOOL, YOU BETTER CHECK YO’SELF!

Footnote: An “agent fatale,” as mentioned in the first paragraph, is much akin to a femme fatale, but in agent form. Essentially, an “agent fatale” lures his clients into believing he can achieve something for them using his slick and seductive talk of money, only to ruin the players repuatation and accomplish very little for said clients. From here on out at The Pattison Pundit, Drew Rosenhaus will be simply referred to as The Agent Fatale.

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