Tag Archives: Plaxico Burress

So Brett Favre is retiring, is he? Right…here are a few more things that might actually “happen”

So Mr. Favre is retiring…again. Right. I’ll believe it when the Jets (Editor’s note: Or Vikings and Bears, for that matter) take their first snap without him next season. It’s probably time that Brett “The Gritman” Favre took his leave – his last few years in the league have been clouded by too much controversy and conflict. It kind of hampered the whole “boyish exuberance” thing he had going for him out on the field.

brett-favre-mouth-open12

And that’s why we all loved him, wasn’t it?

So, in honor of Favre’s “retirement,” I’ve come up with some other news of the ol’ double-quote variety. We’ll call it the “Broken News.” In other words, here are some headlines that you would probably be wary of, and likely doubt almost instantly, were you to read them in the paper or on your computer. To the back page!

Pac-Man Jones claims he’s cleaned up act, changed lifestyle

O.J. Simpson swears he’s innocent

Of anything. It doesn’t matter what – you wouldn’t believe him. He could say he was black, and you wouldn’t believe him. Nope,  you would just shake your head at him in disappointed disbelief, the same way your grandparents did when they knew you were lying.

Accused Ballplayer X denies knowing substances were banned, insists everyone was doing it.

Eagles Front Office, Andy Reid says team is “close” Continue reading

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The Pundit’s NFL Mocking Draft, Part Two

As noted before, I’m a huge fan of the NFL draft – but it’s way too soon to predict, with any semblance of accuracy, what will actually happen. This is what I came up with instead. (Find Part One here)

17. New York Jets – With the 17th pick, the Jets have selected: A designated scapegoat. Literally, they drafted some guy off of the street for the sole purpose of blaming all of their problems on him.  Genius move – why didn’t Mangini think of this?

18. Chicago Bears – With the 18th pick, the Bears have selected: Jim McMahon. And his super cool shades. Why the hell not?

I mean, what could I possibly add to this?

I mean, what could I possibly add to this? Other then: Bangles' Hot LP? Really?

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So what if Anquan Boldin is playing? The Eagles don’t want no stinkin’ handout wins anyway

Handout playoff berths are acceptable, however.

So Boldin is going to play, according to an article over at ESPN. Whatever. Sure, the task would be less daunting without him playing; still, it’s far more honorable to beat a team with all of their weapons.

Though, speaking of weapons, not having to deal with Plaxico Burress sure was nice. (Editor’s note: Insert rim shot here. But maybe it’s time to leave the guy alone, Pundit…nah, never mind).

Ah, well. He would never admit to it, but I can’t imagine we’ll see the healthy, frightening version of Anquan Boldin; he’ll play, but he won’t be as effective as he’s capable of being at 100 percent. Which is probably what Cardinals fans are saying about, and hoping for from Brian Westbrook.

Damn, I really can’t wait for this game. Be sure to check back for my Eagles vs. Cardinals preview tonight.

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Still riding the high – The Pundit gives his final thoughts from Sunday, and looks ahead to the Cardinals…

You know, I really hate Mondays. Hate ’em. I never get enough sleep because my body has adjusted to my weekend schedule – you know, go to bed in the morning, and wake around noon. So right off the bat, I’m walking into work groggy. Today was no exception, of course – I couldn’t fall asleep at a reasonable hour, mustered only four hours of sleep, and had to skip my normal breakfast and coffee to get to work on time. Any other Monday, I’d be starting the week off miserable.

But damn it all if I didn’t feel like a million friggin’ bucks today. I mean, I was feeling absolutely wonderful.

And you know why? Oh, right: E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!! Sometimes, I wonder about my love of sports, and how temperamental it makes my behavior. Had the Eagles lost yesterday, today would have been crappy based on its Mondayness, compounded ten-fold by an Eagles loss. (Editor’s note: Sad, but true).

But today was just a beautiful day. Lovely, really. Some more thoughts about yesterday: Continue reading

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Why can’t us? E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES WIN, BABY!!! The Pundit has some quick hits from the game

Ohhhhhhhhh, baby. The Eagles knocked off the Giants, 23-11, and are headed to the NFC Championship game to take on the Cardinals.

Holy friggin’ crap, man.

I’m still having a hard time believing we made the playoffs, and now we’re one win away from the Super Bowl. The SUPER BOWL! Damn I’m hyped.

Some quick hits here, because I’m super friggin’ juiced right now and can’t give a complete recap: Continue reading

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Why the Eagles are going to win – The Pundit previews Eagles vs. Giants

Alright, before we get into the keys for this upcoming game, let’s overview the key factors in their previous two meetings:

– In each game, the team that finished with more rushing yards, more time of possession, and a higher third-down conversion rate won.

– Plaxico Burress played in the first game, and Jim Johnson noted that much of the Eagles gameplan was designed to keep Plax in check. It worked – he only had one catch for 17 yards. Problem was, the Giants ran roughshed on the Eagles D, finishing with 219 yards on the ground. He didn’t play the second game, and the Giants ran for 88 yards. Hmmm…

Honestly, I've completely run out of Plax jokes. Which is a damn shame, I know.

Honestly, I've completely run out of Plax jokes. Which is a damn shame, I know.

– Brandon Jacobs did not play the entirety of the second game, leaving in the third quarter after rushing the ball 10 times for 52 yards. The Eagles were leading the game at that point, 10-7, though the Giants only touchdown came on a blocked field goal right before the half.

– In the two games, Donovan McNabb finished 36-66 for 385 yards, four touchdowns, and one interception. Oh, and he wasn’t sacked once – in either game.

– In the first game, Brandon Jacobs rushed 22 times for 126 yards and two touchdowns, and Derrick Ward and Ahmed Bradshaw combined to rush for another 91.

– In the first game, Brian Westbrook rushed the ball 13 times for 26 yards, and caught three passes for 33 yards. He did not score. (Editor’s note: I’ve been saying the same thing about the Pundit for years now). In the second game, Westbrook ran the ball 33 times for 131 yards and one touchdown, and caught six passes for another 72 yards and his second touchdown, the now infamous scorching of Antonio Pierce.

Why the Eagles are going to win this game: Continue reading

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Wanna get fired up? The Pundit finds out what the Giants contingent is saying, and it ain’t pretty

I do love me a good rivalry, especially when it involves New York teams. This week’s game against the Giants is a hype machine, both nationally and locally. I decided, with so much at stake, to find out what the Gints fans were saying. All in good fun, of course. Ohhhhhh baby, am I even more ready for Sunday now…

From Mike Vaccaro of the New York Post:

The Eagles may be a wonderful story, they and the Chargers have no doubt brought a smile to Pete Rozelle’s face in a smoking room somewhere in the Hereafter for ratifying his wish that all teams at all times should have an opportunity to dream big dreams. But the Eagles are also a team that tied the Bengals this year. The Eagles are a team that scored three points against the playing-out-the-string Redskins in an everything game just 16 days ago. Continue reading

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