Tag Archives: Monday Night Football

Monday Night Football Liveblogging

8:32 PM – First edition of the Monday Night Football liveblogging. This game is intriguing for three reasons: I didn’t expect the Chargers to start 0-2, Brett Favre is playing, and the game has huge fantasy implications for me. I have a 25 point lead, and LT is on my team. My opponent has Favre, Thomas Jones and the San Diego defense. I’m figuring he’s going to cancel some points out. Hopefully, Favre will throw 3 interceptions but no touchdowns, Jones will have a few fumbles and barely any yards, but a bunch of other Jets will step up and they’ll put 30 up on the Chargers D. Meanwhile, LT will rush for over 100 yards and two TD’s, and I’ll go 2-1 on the season.

8:36 PM – Oh god, I think Kornheiser is attempting to do Howard Cosell while performing a montage of Brett Favre MNF football moments. Uggggghhhhhh.

8:38 PM – I’ll be throwing some Phils coverage into the mix, as well. 2-2 in the 7th. Let’s go, boys.

8:42 PM – A nice screen pass to Thomas Jones. That hurts me twice in fantasy. According to Jaws, tonight is going to be Brett Favre’s “coming out party” with the Jets. I wonder when Kornheiser will have his coming out party. (Editor’s note: That’s not right).

8:46 PM – Rudy Seanez coming into the game for J.A. Happ. Wrap it up, Rudy.

8:47 PM – I am praying that LT’s toe feels nice tonight. Inject that bad boy with Lidocaine or whatever the hell they use.

8:54 PM – Rivers is looking a bit shaky right now. Almost threw another pick. Hey, Rivers – knock it off. I need LT with the ball in his hands, not the friggin’ Jets.

8:56 PM – Oh no. LT’s wife had a bad feeling about this game for the Chargers. Guess this one is a foregone conclusion.

9:04 PM – Braves had a man on third, Jeff Francoeur hit a chopper to third, J-Roll made a great play, jumping for the ball and making a perfect throw to home, getting the runner easily. Game stays tied 2-2.

9:09 PM – Fumble by Thomas Jones! And the Chargers D doesn’t return it for a touchdown! I’m a huge fantasy geek!

9:13 PM – Chargers score, but it isn’t LT, so I’m pissed. Then, with Greg Golson pinch-running for Greg Dobbs, a pick-off attempt went past the first basemen and Golson ends up on third. No outs, Phillies need to capitalize here.

9:18 PM – Golson scores on a ground ball to third, speeding down the line and getting underneath the tag. Phillies take the lead, 3-2. God, I love this team.

9:20 PM – Antonio Cromartie returns an interception for a touchdown. Hurts Favre, but helps the Chargers defense. This has to be unbelievably frustrating for the guy I’m playing against.

9:24 PM – Worst possible scenario for me. I thought Leon Washington was going to return the kick for a touchdown, thereby hurting the Chargers D in points and preventing Favre or Jones from getting a touchdown. Instead, he gets tackled at the five, and Favre gets the touchdown pass. Still hurts the Chargers D, but Favre gets them back. My 25 point lead has been shaved to 8.

9:28 PM – Suddenly, the Phillies are up 6-2. Pat Burrell with a 3-run homer. Booyah!

9:33 PM – Chris Chambers with a long TD reception. Stop stealing TD’s from LT, Chargers!

9:42 PM – Phillies win. Magic number for a playoff spot now down to two. And another interception by the Chargers D, though it really didn’t hurt me, as I’m still leading by 8.

9:51 PM – Touchdown pass to Antonio Gates. If you would have told me that the Chargers would score 31 points in the first half, and that LT wouldn’t have any of those touchdowns, I would have laughed in your face. Guess the joke is on me, huh?

10:03 PM – At the half, Chargers up 31-14. In fantasy, I lead 106.1 – 98.9. Oh man, gonna be a wild finish, at least in my fantasy match-up. I need LT to start grinding out some yards to keep the clock moving, maybe get a TD in here somewhere.

10:24 PM – So, LT scores a touchdown and I miss it taking a break on my roof. That’s fitting, isn’t it? You know what – I’m out. Back to the roof. I’ll leave you with one final thought: fantasy football is both a great thing, and a distracting thing. Truthfully, watching this game, I could have given two shits who actually won this game. I was paying attention to fantasy points, and fantasy points alone. Granted, it gets countless fans into football, and I pay much more attention to the rest of the league because of my fantasy guys. But football purists surely must complain that it negatively affects the way people analyze and value football. Whatever. I consider myself a football purist, and I love fantasy football. Now, enough of my soapbox, its back to the roof. Let’s go LT!

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Filed under Live Blogging, MLB, NFL, Phillies, Uncategorized

The Week in Review

No-Show of the Week

You know, I almost feel bad doing this, mostly because he seems like a genuinely good guy. But Kyle Kendrick has been absolutely killing the Phillies, and he did it again this week. His line against the Marlins on Tuesday: 1 1/3 innings, 6 hits, 2 walks, 7 runs! Wait, did you catch that? Hold on, let me give that to you again. 1 1/3 innings, 6 hits, 2 walks, 7 runs! (Editor’s note: Could you repeat it one more time?) 1 1/3 innings, 6 hits, 2 walks, 7 runs! Kyle, baby, we need you to step it up. (Editor’s note: Insert 70’s soul music in the background here). I know we boo sometimes, sugar, but it’s because we care – because we need you. Just give us a few more quality starts, and we won’t boo you no more. Please, please don’t do us no harm, Kyle – we can’t bear it no mo’. (Editor’s note: The Pundit is so tender, isn’t he?)

Stud of the Week

M-V-P! Well, maybe. Ryan Howard has been hotter than a pudding wrestling match between Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel lately. (Editor’s note: Ah, the clash of the Jessicas. This claim, of course, is absolutely absurd. Nothing is hotter than that. And pudding is delicious.). His line for the week: 12-34 (.353), 8 runs scored, 14 RBI’s, 4 HR’s, 4 doubles. The big fella just might carry the Phils into the postseason all by himself. He either scored or knocked in 18 of the Phillies 57 runs this week, a cool 32%. That, people, is MVP production. Jimmy Rollins has been ridiculous lately as well, setting the table and scoring runs like the Jimmy of last year. I give it to Howard by a nose because it has seemed that, with runners on, he has been completely locked in, but Rollins comes a close second.

My All-Encompassing Thought of the Week

Monday Night Football, when the Eagles are playing, and especially when its against the Cowbitches, requires a special sort of preparation. First, it is important to watch with a group of people, to maximize the energy and positive karma for the good guys. Make sure that, if you have any lucky jerseys or hats or boxers (Editor’s note: I never leave home without my lucky Eagles Speedo), you are wearing them for the game. While a professional spread isn’t necessary, one should be offering or offered with appropriate football cuisine: hot wings, pizza, french fries, veggies and dip, potato chips, one of those 17 foot long hoagies, those little pepperoni’s and cheese trays, etc. Greasiness is next to godliness. Beer. And maybe some more beer. Plus, the beer. That all goes without saying. But don’t be afraid to up the ante a bit. Make yourself a T.O. voodoo doll. Randomly start up the E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES chant. It might be best to start this early in the day – nothing says “Hey, I’m an ambitious and enthusiastic worker” like doing the Eagles chant all day long during work. That’s pretty much a guaranteed raise, trust me. Full body paint is acceptable, unless you’re excessively hairy and/or packing the ol’ gut keg. Go crazy, people. (Editor’s note: Who does The Pundit hang out with?)

Painfully Specifiic Thought of the Week

Pat Burrell is having a bizarro world version of his season last year, but in reverse. Last year, he struggled early in the year, and came on late – this year, he was on fire early in the year, and has since disappeared. But look at his numbers from the two years: 77 runs, 121 hits, 26 doubles, 30 homers, 97 RBI’s, 114 walks, 120 K’s, .256 AVG last year, compared with 68 runs, 123 hits, 30 doubles, 30 homers, 77 RBI’s, 94 walks, 127 K’s, .250 AVG. His walks and RBI’s are each down, but everything else is pretty much spot on. Just in reverse. I’m not sure what it means, but can you imagine if Pat the Bat could produce consistently for an entire year? He’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Moment of the Week

How ’bout them Phillies, sweeping the Brewers in 4 straight games? The Phillies had the look of a playoff team, and the Brewers had the look of a team that was just hanging on for dear life. It’s like when you’re at the bar, and you see a guy trying to run game on a woman, but she seems half-interested and he’s refusing to take the hint. Then, another guy checks her out and they do the whole “we’ll talk for awhile but we’re going to hook up later” eye contact sex-glance. He starts in, and the first guy sees what’s happening, and makes a drastic move, like asking her to dance or seeing if she wants another drink, but all three know that that this guy is old news and the new guy is moving in for the kill. Think of the Wildcard as the hot chick, the Brewers as Mr. Old News, and the Phillies as Johnny Smooth. They know what to do; they’ve done this before, while the Brewers blew it last year and have the look of a team that might blow it again. Of course, if the Phillies keep playing their cards right, they may be able to flip the Wildcard for her even hotter friend, the Division Title. God, she’s sexy. The Mets have been suave thus far, but they couldn’t close before – here’s hoping they get too drunk and start humping her leg on the dance floor or something. (Editor’s note: Let’s get Mr. Met plastered!)

Go get ’em, birds. E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!

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