Stardate 042609. Feeling quite pleased with the Phillies three-game sweep of the Marlins. Truly filleted their bullpen. Opportunistic bats storm to the forefront. Jamie Moyer doesn’t drink cocktails, he sips from the fountain of youth. Cameron Maybin looks like a lost puppy at the plate. Raul Ibanez is the only man on the planet who has my full-fledged support to sport the soul patch. Need – desperately – to get tickets for next weekend’s series against the Mets.
And so our journey begins. Surely, there was no way to get tickets directly through the Phillies. Other mediums had to be explored, and thus, my roommate Lucy and I were forced into the most despicable of predicaments – dealing with online scalpers.
What a depraved, dishonest and dispassionate man the online scalper is. Hording away tickets that otherwise well-intentioned fans might purchase in order to make himself a buck. It’s bad enough that the Phillies have begun to attract teeny-boppers and frat boys who experiment with steroids, all attending in the name of “making the scene”; now, an honest fan can’t even buy a damn ticket at face value. Where were you during the Gregg Jeffries’ years, you bandwagon barbarians? Playing twister with all of the pink-jersey’d Eagles groupies, I’d imagine.
Though I will suffer them so long as they yell loudly when the real fans yell, and don’t make a complete mockery of the True Philadelphia Fan by stooping to the level of mindless marauder, feeding into the Exploitative National Media’s stock definition of our people.
That I cannot tolerate.
On a day when Christians celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ, the Phillies rose from the dead themselves, overcoming an early 5-2 deficit on their way to defeating the Rockies, 7-5.
Chan Ho Park struggled, allowing five runs in 3 1/3 innings. But no matter, as Chase Utley tied the game in the top of the eighth with a two-run jack, and Stairs sent another to the heavens and over the fence in the ninth, securing a Phillies victory.
And I missed the whole damn thing, enjoying the festivities of the day and watching the Masters. (Editor’s note: A bunny who lays colorful eggs and puts candy in your basket…I mean, really people? REALLY?) Ah well – a long season it is.
So, let’s do a quick recap here – after six games, or one week of this young season, we’ve already encountered worries over quiet bats, worries over horrendous starting pitching, and worries over Cole Hamels’ elbow (which he insists is fine). Continue reading
Filed under MLB, Phillies
There are a lot of things you just shouldn’t do as a fan. Walk across the aisle during play. Knock another man’s beer over. Shout really dumb insults that result in groans and not laughter. Lecture the people in your row about what is happening, despite the fact that everything you’re saying is totally off base.
And oh man, does that last one piss me off.
But what has always bothered me more than anything else, what always gets my boxers in a bunch, is when people leave the games early. I can’t friggin’ stand it. If you paid the money, stay until the end. What, you don’t want to hit traffic? C’mon, that’s a part of the experience – instead of bitching about it, throw on some sports talk radio and shoot the breeze with the people you went with.
It’s about the ride, people.
I only bring this up because a friend of mine recently was invited to the Flyers game against Nashville, and, with five minutes left, and the Flyers up 3-1, one of the people she was with decided it was time to go. Continue reading
In a recent poll conducted by 193 NHL players for ESPN, Philadelphia was voted as having the most “disruptive” fans. Here’s the write-up:
Every fan believes their city has the best fans, but NHL players on average found Philly to be the most disruptive. From the “Broad Street Bullies” to the “Legion of Doom,” Flyers fans are knowledgeable and passionate, but they are also very vocal. Remember, Flyers fans even booed Santa Claus.
Wait – I don’t remember that last part ever happening… Continue reading
Quick comparison: He Got Game vs. Above the Rim. Both center around the lives of superstar high-school basketball players raised in the inner-city. However, each focuses on a different stage in the player’s personal development – He Got Game is about the corrupt politics of the recruiting system, and how a young basketball player’s life becomes a commodity to countless people. Above the Rim, however, focuses on how the cruel realities – and influences – of the streets can cause many young men, with great potential, to leave it underdeveloped, and largely, unrecognized.
Here, in a scene from Above the Rim, Birdie, played by the late Tupac Shakur, pulls a razor blade out of his mouth. Or, he does some kind of magic trick where he makes it look as though he pulled a razor blade out of his mouth. I'm just a whiteboy originally from the 'burbs - I don't know how these things go.
Wait a second – why in the hell am I talking about this? Continue reading
(Editor’s note: Ah, New Year’s. A time of year for all of the various articles handing out “best-of-the-year” awards to come pouring out. Not to be outdone, The Pundit has joined in the holiday tradition with his first annual “Punny Awards.” One quick note: These awards will not include the current Flyers, Sixers, or any of the college basketball teams. Everything will be from teams that played the majority of their season in 2008. On to the awards!)
Award shows are really where it’s at. I mean, they’re so ridiculous. Famous audience members pretending to not posture for the camera. Cheesy video montages. And, my favorite, the poorly scripted and unenthusiastically delivered introductions to each award by disinterested celebrities who are probably half-tanked. I think that’s how we’ll run the Punnies.
And so, with that in mind, please put your hands together for Samuel L. Jackson, who will be presenting the Punny for Quote of the Year. Continue reading
Alright, first things first. In my previous post, I make mention of a strange phenomenon that seems to occur in Philadelphia sports – namely, that when our teams seem to be down for the count, and nobody has any hope left in them at all, they choose that moment to play their best and completely surprise everyone with a stunning revival. I entitled this phenomenon the Philly Hopeless Theory.
And quite frankly, that is the dumbest effing name ever.
Plus, there’s already a pretty simple name for such a phenomenon, Continue reading