Tag Archives: Barack Obama

The football season is all but over – time for Part One of the Pundit’s NFL Mocking Draft

Listen – it’s way too soon to predict who will go to what team, at least with any degree of accuracy. I love the draft as much as the next guy, believe me; but it’s friggin’ January, for God’s sake. Doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun.

1. Detroit Lions – With the first overall pick in the Pundit’s Mocking Draft, the Lions have selected: a single, guaranteed win. Congratulations to the Detroit Lions on their pick, who have already increased their win total from last year by 100%.

2. St. Louis Rams – With the second overall pick in the Mocking Draft, the Rams select: Continue reading

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Have the Phillies changed us as fans? The Pundit wonders…

Maybe you’ve seen The Girl Next Door. For those who haven’t, here’s the main theme:  Nerdy but curious guy falls for super hot chick with a porn-star background. He loves her sense of adventure and care-free philosophy toward life. That, and her looks. And body. Right. Anyway, super hot chick with porn-star background changes the way nerdy but curious guy looks at life, gets him to take more chances, and gives him confidence in himself. Certainly, much more occurs in his existential journey toward self-fulfillment, but you get the idea. (Editor’s note: Is the juice worth the squeeze, Pundit? An interesting query, which depends, of course, on the juice. Tropicana? ‘Cuz if it’s Tropicana, or Dole, I’m down. Or purple drink. Mmmm…purple drink. Screw Sunny D – I want that purple stuff).

It’s a classic tale, really. But what’s the point?

Now that's a point that isn't lost on me. Wait, Elisha Cuthbert isn't the point? Damn...

Now that's a point that isn't lost on me. Wait, Elisha Cuthbert isn't the point? Damn...

Well, in many ways, I think we’re that kid. Continue reading

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The Pundit’s Power Rankings: Plaxico shoots up the list!

Unlike traditional Power Rankings, which attempt to rank teams on a week-to-week basis, the Pundit’s Power Rankings avoid such arbitrary silliness. Instead, The Pundit wishes only to rank the pertinence, scope, and conversational value of the top sports stories of the week. Extra points for any stories that lend themselves to relentless mockery and high-horse rhetoric. On to the Rankings!

1. Plaxico Burress shoots himself in thigh

A true run-and-shoot offense. Well, shoot and run, I suppose. And I’m not sure if I’d be running after I had shot myself in the thigh. Whatever. I feel as though we need to go over the details of this one more time: Plaxico Burress shoots himself in the thigh after stuffing his handgun, which didn’t have a safety, into his sweatpants while hanging out at a club. A handgun he didn’t have a permit for in New York, a city notoriously strict on illegal possession of firearms. And not only do the Giants lose their best receiver, but one of their top linebackers, Antonio Pierce, might be in some trouble as well. This story speaks for itself.

2. The Juice is no longer on the loose

At this point, anything I say would just be piling on. And that’s what, a 15-year penalty?

3. Sean Avery’s sloppy seconds

Hard to believe he got a six-game suspension for what he said. Classy? Hell no. But worth a six-game suspension? Hardly. Seems to me like the NHL was looking for a reason to crack down on what they felt to be one of their more unsavory characters, and they got their money’s worth. Quick question: on a sloppy-second score, is Avery credited with an assist?

4. NFL players take substance to mask steroids, suspensions suspended

Anybody else think it’s a bit fishy that the Hennepin County District Judge Gary Larson, of Minnesota, was the judge who temporarily delayed the suspensions of the 5 players accused of using diuretics to mask steroids? Which, of course, led to a federal judge blocking the suspensions until a further investigation into the matter could take place. Would Judge Larson have taken such a vested interest in the manner if the Williams Wall, and the Vikings playoff hopes, weren’t in jeopardy? I have no idea, but I love a conspiracy theory as much as the next guy, so I’m going to go the paranoid route. Which is why I’m almost positive that Matt Cassel has been taking injections of Tom Brady’s DNA, Tony Sparano is actually Tony Soprano and is involved in a massive point-shaving operation, explaining the Dolphins sudden success, and somebody suddenly changed the overtime rules without telling anyone in week 11, confusing Donovan McNabb and, apparently, a huge contingent of NFL players. Oh, and Plaxico Burress didn’t shoot himself in the thigh – there was another shooter up on the grassy knoll, maaan…

5. Charlie Weis’ future in question

Let’s do some math, ok? Alright, here’s a problem to start with: Unlimited resources + a multitude of highly touted recruits + a lucrative television contract + a huge contract for your head coach + the past four years = 28-21 record and two losses in the Fiesta Bowl. Oh, and the two losses in the Fiesta Bowl were with players almost exclusively recruited by Tyrone Willingham. I despise Notre Dame and their College Football politicking, so seeing them fail doesn’t bother me much – I say, let Charlie work it out. Heh…

(And now, for a commercial break. This has nothing to do with this post at all, but I just saw this TV, and it absolutely cracked me up – they were offering commemorative Barack Obama half-dollars. I mean, seriously? What’s next, the Collector’s Edition Obama Oreo Tin?)

6. Oklahoma or Texas? The BCS again reveals its flaws

Though, after watching Oklahoma absolutely toy with Missouri during four lopsided quarters, its hard to argue that Oklahoma doesn’t deserve to be where they are right now. I mean, if you’re a college football fan, the Oklahoma vs. Florida match-up has to be getting you pretty pumped up.  Plus, Penn State vs. USC, and Texas, Alabama, Utah and Ohio State pairing off should actually make for a decent bowl season. Still, even though I supported Oklahoma being the Big-12 South champion, I can’t help but feel as though Texas got absolutely screwed. Hey, at least ESPN now has the broadcasting rights to the BCS after Fox’s contract runs up – now we’ll get years of the Gameday Crew touting the wonders of the BCS. Hooray!

7. Arbitration, Free Agency in MLB

None of the major moves have happened to this point, so much of this story has simply been speculation. Player X is going here, player Y is going there, Scott Boras is a huge piece of shit, etc. etc. Well, except for that last part – that’s just true. Once Manny and CC are signed, sealed and delivered, the rest will fall like dominoes. As for me, I’d like to see Derek Lowe end up in Philly, as well as a second to third-tier outfielder. What I think will happen?  Jamie Moyer will be back, and we’ll still get a second to third-tier outfielder. Though I have a feeling that Mr. Amaro is going to want to make a splash in his first offseason…

That’s it for this week’s Pundit Power Rankings – be sure to check in tomorrow for some postgame Eagles reactions.

E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!

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The Pundit List presents: Things to be thankful for

It’s been a while since I’ve done a Pundit List, so it seemed like time. I decided to list the things I was thankful for both in the spirit of the holiday and because I’ve been so negative about the Eagles lately. My thanks will be primarily directed toward the sporting world, but I will undoubtably stray from time to time.  Obvious things, such as my family, friends, shelter, food, etc. will be left off of the list because they aren’t as much fun to write about. But they would be at the top. Probably. Anyway, on to the list.

8. The Flyers and Sixers – Eventually, I’ll actually start watching their games. I’m thankful I have something to look forward to once football is done for the year.

7. Emmananuelle Chriqui – You probably know her better as Sloan from Entourage. She might be the sexiest woman on this planet, at least in this humble Pundit’s opinion. If you aren’t familiar with the show, take a look– you won’t want to look away.

6. Beer – I don’t really need to go into depth here, do I? Though I will say, I am extremely thankful for my two favorite watering holes, The Pope (Pub on Passyunk East) and the South Philly Tap Room.

5. The BCS – The system blows, and I would like a playoff, but at least it gives me something to constantly bitch about on the site. The BCS, if for nothing else, is great for material. Think about how much has been written aruging that one team should be ranked higher than another, or about how there should be a playoff, and how it would be formatted. It’s a story-generator, and for that, and that alone, I offer my thanks.

4. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Entourage, Generation Kill, John Adams, Weeds – After The Wire ended last year, I needed something to fill the gigantic void that was left in my soul from its wake. (Editor’s note: Oh brother). Any show and/or mini-series listed above either helped, or is currently helping, to fill that void. Rest in peace, The Wire – you were the greatest show ever crafted for television. Hell, I’m thankful I ever tuned in.

3. The Eagles – They are driving me absolutely crazy this year – how could I possibly be thankful for them? Well, much like the BCS, they constantly give me something to talk about. I mean, they tied the Bengals. Andy Reid benched Donovan McNabb, and is starting him this week. They blew chances to win close games against the Bears, Redskins, Cowboys and Giants. Honestly, a few clutch plays, and this team could potentially be undeafeted right now. And honestly, that is what makes them so damn frustrating – wasted potential. But success wouldn’t stir conversation, now would it? The Eagles are like the girl in the neighborhood who sleeps around – everyone knows her business, has their own idea of how she should be living, and are constantly gossiping about her. (Editor’s note: So wait…are the Eagles like the town’s bike?) I suppose I’m just thankful for football in general, but as a writer, the Eagles specifically are wonderful for controversy. (Editor’s note: Kind of sad, really).

2. Change – More than everything except for one thing on this list, I am thankful for the possibility, and the hope, of change. It was what made the number one item on this list so very special. I am thankful that “Yes We Can” became “Yes We Did.” I am thankful for the possibility that the Eagles will move in a new direction after this season. I am thankful for the possibility that maybe, just maybe, college football will someday have a playoff. I am thankful that the Sixers brought in Elton Brand, the legitamate big man they haven’t had since Charles Barkley. (Editor’s note: What, no love for Dikembe “Cookie Monster” Mutombo?) I am thankful that, after 25 years of failure, we finally had ourselves a winner. Which brings me to number one:

1. The 2008, World Phucking Champion, Philadelphia Phillies – I mean, what is there to be said that hasn’t already been said? They brought us the parade we had been waiting for so long. They were a team full of players that were easy to embrace. Talented. Team-oriented. Focused. Unflappable. They were led by a manager with the waddle to the mound. The guy who had divine hunches. I offer my thanks to Charlie Manuel, Jimmy Rollins, Jayson Werth, Chase Utley, Ryan Howard, Pat Burrell, Shane Victorino, Pedro Feliz, Carlos Ruiz, Cole Hamels, Brett Myers, Jamie Moyer, Joe Blanton, Chad Durbin, Scott Eyre, J.C Romero, Ryan Madson, Brad Lidge, Matt Stairs, Greg Dobbs, Geoff Jenkins, Chris Coste, Eric Bruntlett, and So Taguchi. On second thought, not So Taguchi. Sorry, pal. I give my thanks to the 2008 Philadelphia Phillies – it was one hell of a ride, and I sure hope to take it with you guys again.

I hope everybody a damn good Thanksgiving. Stuff your faces, take a nap while watching a football game, and enjoy seeing your family. But don’t use it as an excuse to be thankful for the things in your life – we should all be doing that everyday. (Editor’s note: I’m thankful for self-righteous advice!). Oh, and Rant: I’m thankful for you too, man. Rant has been the man. Many thanks go out to him. Now…bring on the feasting!

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Rants, Raves and Notes – Talkin’ some football

Ryan Jacobs

α: When Roger Goodell came into the league, many people (like me), were curious as to how this man was going to run, arguably, the best structured professional sporting league in the world. Goodell had many issues to deal with from the moment that he took the reins from Paul Tagliabue. One of the more prominent issues he needed to address was player misconduct. Well, Goodell came riding in on an iron horse and smashed the league back into order under his moral and ethically guided system of rules. (Editor’s note: What is an iron horse?) He sent Michael Vick to trial, suspended Pacman Jones for an entire season, and Chris Henry for half a year. I thought the guy had some balls. Coming into this league and making so many statements impressed me and others across the land. It seemed like the league had found a young king to lead their organization into a new era.

Things have changed a little bit since Goodell’s first year though. Nowadays, players are getting fined the equivalent of an Acura for simply questioning calls made by officials. The latest of these came when Randy Moss was fined 20 grand for claiming that some of the calls made by the officials during their week 9 loss to the Colts were “iffy”. In comparison to some of the things muttered by Moss in the past, this was child’s play (and probably shouldn’t have made headlines). I couldn’t fucking believe it! I mean, get real, man! 20 G’s for that? You’re off your flippin’ rocker! (Editor’s note: Now, let’s not go throwing stones…) Fortunately, the fine was later rescinded by league officials who actually have a fucking brain in their skulls, but the message was clear: The NFL League Office no longer recognizes the First Amendment of the United States Constitution….you know, the one about free speech and all, especially when the comment is made in defense of your team. Unbelievable. (Editor’s note: I plead the fiff!)

I mean, if you cannot make critical statements against blown calls, then you’re saying that referees are perfect. And if you’ve been paying attention to the NFL this year, you know there have been a slew of poor calls that have screwed many teams; and think, we just only passed the halfway mark in the season. I know it must be tough for refs, what with all of the hell they take for bad calls (Editor’s note: And those silly uniforms). But this is how I see it: you’re making good money officiating football games and you know you’re gonna be under heat for some of the calls that you and your crew make. If you aren’t ready to step up to the damn plate, then don’t even bother driving to the stadium, because it’s a war zone out there. (Editor’s note: Wait, who called Kellen Winslow, Jr?)

β: The…Eagles…are…killing…me; soooo painful watching them play. They hang around in games just long enough to make you think they might win, only to let you down. The thing about this team is that they don’t have swagger. They seem like they’re hungry, and I applaud them for that, but they just don’t have the mentality and tenacity to make them a Superbowl-caliber team. Losing to the Giants may have slid the cover over the coffin; now we’re all just waiting for another team to come along and put the nails in. My friend The Pundit would argue that all 4 of the Eagles’ losses came by a combined 19 points, and all were very tight contests. However, I see a team that can’t win the close ones; a team that doesn’t have what it takes to get them over the top when they need it most. (Editor’s note: Like that friend you have that is always talking to a girl by the end of the night, but can never close). And this is the regular season, people – while everyone is considering whether or not it’s feasible to consider a playoff run, we don’t even have the intensity to win in our division yet, let alone the postseason.

The Pundit would argue that we could right this ship and get hot, and he could be onto something there. I’ve seen mediocre Eagles teams of the past collect themselves at the halfway mark and make a playoff run. But for whatever reason, I don’t feel it with this team, though I’d be lying if I said I totally felt it with those other teams. I feel like this Eagles team is writing the final words in a long chapter while getting ready to turn the page and start a new saga. There’s no doubt that this team needs some youth and some fresh faces in key positions. With all else said, I think our window of opportunity closed last season and I think it’s time to move on to the Kolb era. (Editor’s note: Or, the Kolb error. Who knows?)

I never thought I’d find myself saying that, as I love and respect Donovan McNabb more than I feel a lot of people do. A lot of people love to take turns shitting on McNabb (Editor’s note: Now playing for the Cleveland Steamers, number 5…), which I have often disagreed with. McNabb has been the best quarterback this city has ever seen and it will be like breaking up with a serious girlfriend when he goes. And even though he is still playing well, he’s going to get run out of town sooner than later. Sorry buddy, it’s been good having you. But if this season ends in disappointment (and with 2 first round picks), I see the Eagles making significant personnel changes (which might mean you too, Dawkins…sniff, sniff).

γ: So Barack Obama will be the next president of the United States of America. Like the young people around me, I am glad that change is “coming to Washington”. I liked Obama even more when he said that it’s about time to change college football to a playoff system. Bravo, Mr. President Elect! Bravo! And here’s a guy who has the power to do such a thing. I’m not saying he would even challenge such a thing, as the billions of dollars raked in by the greedy fucks in charge of the BCS is enough to keep most people away. But if the president decides to do something, I’d be behind him. (Editor’s note: Oh, I think it’s more likely that he’d be behind you, Jacobs…Oh, SNAP!)

So I ask you, dear readers, would it be just as bad if President Obama set the dogs loose on the BCS? I don’t think he should waste his time worrying about College Football, though I would like to see the BCS revoked. Arash Markazi has a great article about Obama and the whole college football playoff situation posted under his “For the Record” column in the Fannation section of SI.com.

δ: It’s been circulating that Al Davis stripped the Raiders offensive coordinator Greg Knapp of his play calling duties this week. While I can’t say the Raiders are good at doing anything, Davis is just causing more damage to, quite possibly, the NFL’s worst run organization. As one source said, “Knapp just happened to be the next in line scapegoat”. Keep in mind that Davis previously relegated play calling to Knapp even before the Lane Kiffin debacle began. The Raiders need help from everything from player personnel to coaching to the food they serve at the training facility cafeteria. (Editor’s note: Al Davis is a huge fan of baby food). But my vote goes to banishing Al Davis from the Raiders as the most important factor to turning things around in Oakland.

ε: USC has outscored its opponents 339-60 en route to an 8-1 record. Their defense has allowed more than 10 points only once: their loss at Oregon State when they gave up 28. USC is allowing an NCAA low 206.4 yard and 6.7 points per game. They blanked 3 of their opponents, and their average points allowed per game has steadily decreased as the season has wore on. Now, I’m not one to hype up USC, and I usually end up arguing with The Pundit over the validity of their defense, (Editor’s note: If I may attempt to rephrase his argument, I believe The Pundit often claims that USC’s defense is so good this year because the Pac-10 is sooooo bad), but USC looks scary right now. Everybody is giving Florida way more credit in the “one-loss contender” argument, especially because they play in the SEC. But USC is beating up on its weak conference the way it should be if it wants to be allowed back into the national title race. They are a good football team.

ζ: The Wildcat Formation. It’s the new rage in the NFL and it’s caught the eye of every coach and coordinator. The idea of getting one of your fastest and shiftiest playmakers behind center to run a zone-option read play is the new big thing. (Editor’s note: The Wildcat is the new black). After I saw the ‘Iggles do it with DeSean Jackson (and it led to a touchdown) against the Giants, I knew something was up. Could it be that coaches are taking something from the college game? Nahhhhhh, couldn’t be. I mean, to say that you dipped into college football playbooks would simply be barbaric, right? (Editor’s note: Andy Reid like DeSean Jackson. Andy get him ball anyway he can. Andy hungry now. Andy want food. Lots of food.). The coaches would be ashamed if people knew they had dropped to a lower level of football for inspiration. I personally think it’s great; just another way to get the ball in the hands of your playmakers. I think it’s time that NFL coaches start taking chances on plays college football teams are more likely to risk.

I’m Ryan Jacobs, and I approve this posting.

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Quick Quips from the Day in Sports

– Donovan McNabb is a big fan of President Elect Barack Obama, according to an article on ESPN.com.

“It reminded me of, obviously, when Martin Luther King spoke and the messages that he spoke about,” McNabb said Wednesday. “As a man, if you teared up, it was acceptable because it was that deep.”

The story fails to mention that, only a few minutes before Senator McCain conceded, McNabb had been vomiting profusely. Thanks to T.O. for that scoop. (Editor’s note: And, the sound of crickets). Don’t mean to downplay a big day in the life of Mr. McNabb, African-Americans, and our United States of America – but hey, when T.O. calls…

– Apparently, the Dodgers are making Manny Ramirez a huge offer to stay in LA.

The Dodgers on Tuesday night offered Ramirez a contract with the highest average salary in Dodgers history, and the second-highest average salary among current players, Colletti told reporters Wednesday… That means that the average salary offered to Ramirez was somewhere between $22.9 million and $27.5 million per year.

Most likely, the Dodgers offered Ramirez a two-year contract worth just over $50 million. Colletti said the Dodgers also offered an option year, but declined to specify the exact length of contract.

If somebody asked me if I wanted to play baseball for them for 2 years and get paid about $50 million to do so, I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t need to think too hard about my answer. Wouldn’t really be too tough of a decision for this guy. (Editor’s note: I’m fairly certain that The Pundit would wet himself in glee over a contract worth 40 G’s, a company Escort and limited health benefits).

– As is to be expected at this point in the College Football season, with a multitude of highly ranking teams losing and controversy starting to rear its snarling head, the old Playoff vs. BCS argument is coming to the forefront once more. Certain coaches, like Joe Paterno and Pete Carroll, are all about the playoff system, while others, mostly the ones who aren’t protected by national prestige and complete job security, “support” the BCS. Surely, the BCS has its strengths: every week, every high profile match-up takes on a playoff atmosphere. No game can be taken for granted, and no opponent can be taken lightly. Still, who wouldn’t like to see the top four, or even eight teams battle it out on the field? Wait, wait, what’s that you’re saying? You’re saying you’ve already heard these arguments, time and time again? Wait, this argument isn’t newsworthy anymore, it’s just rubbish being thrown around because it sparks the same old heated argument, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over? You already know that a playoff isn’t happening anytime soon, and have resigned yourself to just enjoy some great football, even if the system for determining the National Champion always leaves a bit to be desired? Yeaaaaaahhhhhh…moving on.

– Allen Iverson is a Piston, and will actually play for the Pistons soon. He is excited about the prospect of putting out a duel rap album with Rasheed Wallace, and can’t wait to join the destructive riots in Detroit if he is able to lead the Pistons to an NBA Championship. (Editor’s note: Oh, that’s just chock full of stereotypes right there. For the record, The Pundit has routinely claimed that Allen Iverson is one of his favorite athletes – and this is how he shows his support. You’re an asshole, Pundit).

– The Raiders have waived cornerback DeAngelo Hall in another strange move by the Silver and Black.

“I’ve never been in a situation where you cut one of the best players,” said safety Gibril Wilson, another of the team’s offseason acquisitions. “That’s strange to me. It’s almost like we’re throwing in the towel.”

The Raiders waived Hall on Wednesday, bringing a disappointing end to a short tenure in Oakland. The Raiders sent a second-round draft pick in 2008 and a fifth-rounder next season to Atlanta in March to acquire Hall, who immediately was given a seven-year contract.

At this time, Oakland has not shown any indication that they will cut Al Davis. However, Mr. Davis has expressed interest in hiring Matt Millen for an advisory role.

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Election Liveblogging: Why the hell not?

Alright, alright, so the Presidential Election has nothing to do with sports. But hey, its all a game, right? I mean, there are a ton of races all over the country. (Editor’s note: Groan). Thus, I am committed to posting various games you can play during the election coverage, along with posting my comments on the Election coverage throughout the evening. Whoo-hoo! Hope you voted – wouldn’t want Puff Diddy to kill you, ya dig? (Editor’s note: Dude, Puff Diddy is a huuuuuuuuge douche. Ginormous, really.)

7:35 PM: Ok, the election coverage should provide great drinking games fodder. Several keywords or phrases to drink to: swing states, too close to call, exit polls, blue collar, Clinton, chads, hanging chads, Florida, Pennsylvania, Indiana, California, Ohio, New York, New Jersey, votes, polls, ballots, demographics, Joe the Plumber, change, campaign, contributions, pundits, historic, precinct, bloggers, analysts, electorates, battleground state, public financing, projection, etc. Maybe pick a few per person and have fun, damnit!

7:45 PM: ABC has an analyst named Cokie Roberts. However, I will be spelling it Cokey for the duration of this liveblogging, because that makes me smile, and grind my teeth a little bit, and suddenly want to dance to bad techno music. I just want to see Cokey flip out, stand up on her desk and start yelling. Hey hey hey I hope everyone got out and voted because its our national privilege and damnit that is so important it will be interesting to see how Indiana goes because you know Obama really wanted that state and he already got Vermont and that state has a lot of snow who said snow did I say snow who’s got a dollar bill I’m getting down during commercial break WHOO let’s get electing a president up in this bitch already!

8:31 PM: Looks like PA is going to go to Obama. Sweet. Though, I’m sure only 0.2% of the actual vote is in, so it’s still conjecture right now. Still, looks like PA is headed Obama’s way.

8:35 PM: The best part of watching this coverage is seeing how easily lumped together people become. First, we start with Men and Women. Then, we get to Whites, Blacks, Latinos, Asians, etc. Then, it’s rural, suburban and city voters. Let’s not forget about the Gay men, straight men, gay women and straight women. Then, they break it down into friggin’ careers and occupations, for Chrissakes: the banking community, the farmers, the laborers, college students, etc. I would like to know how a Gay Jewish woman from Albuquerque, New Mexico, with 3.5 children who works at J.C. Penny during the day and is a cleaning lady at night because her bum of a husband walked out on her due to his love affair with Jim Beam is voting. (Editor’s note: I’m not even sure if the above situation is even scientifically possible…)

8:52 PM: CNN literally has layers of analysts, and a dizzying camera that is, for whatever reason, giving me the occasional lovely shot of the back of everyone’s heads. Necessary, guys? Oh, and James Carvel scares me.

8:55 PM: NBC has coverage of Mayor Nutter. At Finnigan’s Wake. Apparently, Nutter wants to watch the Election and pick him up some sorostitutes.

9:02 PM: According to Fox, McCain is “protesting” the Pennsylvania call. The McCain camp is protesting a projection. I mean, the manner in which we both conduct and cover our election process in this country is pure fucking spectacle.

9:52 PM: ABC’s coverage is so boring, it just put Cokie Roberts to sleep. (Editor’s note: Oh, gross, she’s foaming from the mouth – lightweight).

9:57 PM: Anybody know anything about any of the other people they voted for other than the President today? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

10:00 PM: Thank God the Comedy Central special with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert is starting. That other coverage was fucking killing me.

10:37 PM: And Fox has returned to Finnigans. It’s a shit-show, people – even the reporter is covered in beads.

10:43 PM: Colbert and Stewart should really work more together – they are absolutely hysterical. Brilliant banter and counterpoint.

11:11 PM: Barack Obama is being projected to be the 44th President of our United States of America. It’s just my own personal belief, but good work, America. You spoke loud and clear on this evening, and we shall see if Senator Obama can be the leader we all seem to think he can be. Your Pundit, signing out.

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