So Mr. Favre is retiring…again. Right. I’ll believe it when the Jets (Editor’s note: Or Vikings and Bears, for that matter) take their first snap without him next season. It’s probably time that Brett “The Gritman” Favre took his leave – his last few years in the league have been clouded by too much controversy and conflict. It kind of hampered the whole “boyish exuberance” thing he had going for him out on the field.
And that’s why we all loved him, wasn’t it?
So, in honor of Favre’s “retirement,” I’ve come up with some other news of the ol’ double-quote variety. We’ll call it the “Broken News.” In other words, here are some headlines that you would probably be wary of, and likely doubt almost instantly, were you to read them in the paper or on your computer. To the back page!
Pac-Man Jones claims he’s cleaned up act, changed lifestyle
O.J. Simpson swears he’s innocent
Of anything. It doesn’t matter what – you wouldn’t believe him. He could say he was black, and you wouldn’t believe him. Nope, you would just shake your head at him in disappointed disbelief, the same way your grandparents did when they knew you were lying.
Accused Ballplayer X denies knowing substances were banned, insists everyone was doing it.
Eagles Front Office, Andy Reid says team is “close” Continue reading
Jeremiah Trotter sat down with Don Bell of CBS 3 last night for an interview that got very, very intriguing. Trotter was explicit on several topics, including his disappointment in Donovan for throwing the defense under the bus after the NFC Championship game, and his distaste for how the organization handles contract negotiations.
Interesting note: Trotter seems to have legitimate respect for Andy Reid as a coach, and had nothing but positive words for the man.
But the interview got really interesting when the Axeman called McNabb’s leadership into question.
I think Brian Dawkins is the leader of this team. I think Donovan is the leader by position, because if you’re the quarterback, you are the leader. But true leaders are the ones that go out there and lay it on the line, week in and week out. Continue reading
By now, I’m sure you know what beer goggles are. If not, I guess you’ve been living under a rock for quite some time or something. (Editor’s note: Kudos for surviving that predicament, by the way). Anyway, the fine folks over at Urban Dictionary do a wonderful job of defining this occurrence.
1. Beer Goggles
Phenomenon in which one’s consumption of alcohol makes physically unattractive persons appear beautiful.
And we haven't even gotten into liquor goggles
There is something similar in sports. I call them “Cheer Goggles.” Essentially, one can be said to be wearing Cheer Goggles when one is Continue reading
Sigh. I swear, the national media just loves trashing Philly teams and fans. Loves it. Partly, I’m sure, because we respond so passionately to it. We’re like that friend you have who, anytime you burn him, gets all worked up about it, and you find yourself saying, “Yo, I’m just messing with you, man.” Like, ten times.
But Bill Simmons has been killing me lately.
Ohhhhhhhhh, baby. The Eagles knocked off the Giants, 23-11, and are headed to the NFC Championship game to take on the Cardinals.
Holy friggin’ crap, man.
I’m still having a hard time believing we made the playoffs, and now we’re one win away from the Super Bowl. The SUPER BOWL! Damn I’m hyped.
Some quick hits here, because I’m super friggin’ juiced right now and can’t give a complete recap: Continue reading
Listen – I’ve eaten crow from time to time. It’s rare, of course. And no, I don’t mean the way it’s prepared. But if presented with a dish of crow that I deserve, I’ll be the first one to shove it down.
And trust me – it doesn’t taste like chicken. Much tougher.
Now, maybe you’re wondering: Hey guy, what in the hell are you talking about? Fair enough. If you haven’t already read it, Bill Conlin penned this piece admitting that calling for Reid’s head was a mistake. Continue reading
I’ve got to say – this game went pretty much the way I expected it to. The Eagles stuffed the run for the most part, allowing Adrian Peterson to only get loose once on a long TD run. “All Day?” More like “A Play.” Jim Johnson’s blitz scheme forced Tarvaris Jackson into a bad interception, and Asante made up for his drop against the Redskins by taking it to the house. The defense is playing lights out football right now – they’ve been spectacular. Continue reading
Eagles Defense vs. Vikings offense
It’s no secret what the Vikings want to do offensively – run, run, and run it some more. They do it a lot (519 times, third in the NFL), they do it well (4.5 yards per carry, sixth in the NFL), and they’ve got the best running back in the NFL, Adrian Peterson, to do it. Surely, Tarvaris Jackson has played well as the starter the past four weeks, going 57-89 with eight touchdowns and only one interception, totaling 740 yards. Peyton Manning he is not, Continue reading
(Editor’s note: Ah, New Year’s. A time of year for all of the various articles handing out “best-of-the-year” awards to come pouring out. Not to be outdone, The Pundit has joined in the holiday tradition with his first annual “Punny Awards.” One quick note: These awards will not include the current Flyers, Sixers, or any of the college basketball teams. Everything will be from teams that played the majority of their season in 2008. On to the awards!)
Award shows are really where it’s at. I mean, they’re so ridiculous. Famous audience members pretending to not posture for the camera. Cheesy video montages. And, my favorite, the poorly scripted and unenthusiastically delivered introductions to each award by disinterested celebrities who are probably half-tanked. I think that’s how we’ll run the Punnies.
And so, with that in mind, please put your hands together for Samuel L. Jackson, who will be presenting the Punny for Quote of the Year. Continue reading