So, its time to bring back The Pundit List. The first edition was all about picnic games – now, it’s on to something I hold even dearer to my heart (Editor’s note: And liver). That, of course, is drinking games. Thus, in the spirit of the upcoming weekend, and with college students everywhere back in the swing of things, I present my list of essential drinking games. Again, there is no predetermined number for this list – those that make it are, in my opinion, simply the most essential. Enjoy.
6. Quarters – A classic, quarters is simple enough. Quarters can be played frantically, or it can be played with a few shot glasses and a couple of bored (Editor’s note: And relatively broke) people. The game was never played much in my circle at Temple, so I by no means am a quarters connoisseur, but it’s an an oldie and a goodie, and it had to be included.
5. Asshole – Anyone who’s ever played asshole knows that I can’t properly explain it, seeing as I’m not drunk right now. But talk cards, and you’ve got to mention asshole. It’s got strategy, president rules always make for excellent drinking escapades, and you’ve got an asshole that, depending on the rules you play, the president can make drink at will. My biggest gripe with the game is that, for a drinking game, it often becomes a game that people forget to drink during. But no drinking list would be complete without asshole.
4. Flip cup – Wait a hoot – flip cup only comes number four on your list, Mr. Pundit? Yes, that is correct. Sure, flip cup is great fun, especially in the middle of the party when everybody is starting to sway but is getting a bit bored. Suddenly, from somewhere, some wise sage yells “FLIP CUP!,” and a huge throng of people rush to the table. Flip cup can be great group fun, especially if you’re playing elimination flip cup and strategy comes into play. But, in my opinion, flip cup gets old quick, and hence, I only include it at number four.
3. Kings – Kings has always been my favorite drinking cards game, in that it can be played with a large and boisterous party crowd, or with a few of your friends just hanging around the house. Kings is great in that it offers a wide variety of things to be done, as each card spread out on the table represents a different task to be completed. We play with the following card representations:
2 – You (person who picked the card selects somone else to drink)
3 – Me (person who selects the card drinks)
4 – Whores (the ladies drink)
5 – Categories (A category is chosen, and then everyone goes around the table, selecting something that fits that category until somebody misses. Best played with a category that everyone knows a bit about, so that it goes a few rounds until the obscure answers have to be given. Solid examples include cigarette brands, cereals, condom brands, Will Ferrell movies, etc.)
6 – Dicks (Guys drink)
7 – Heaven (Everyone puts there hands in the air, as if reaching for heaven, last person with hands in the air drinks)
8 – Pick a date (Person selecting card picks someone to drink with)
9 – Bust a rhyme (My personal favorite, bust a rhyme is simple but can become hilarious. Essentially, the first person says a phrase, and then the next person says a phrase that rhymes with it. This continues until someone cannot think of a rhyme or repeats one. The more demeaning, the better. For example: Your mother’s a whore / You know I always score / Your life is a bore / I went to war / This rhyme is a chore / To you I implore / I dig on the Cure, etc. etc. (Editor’s note: That was a weak ass rhyme, btw). As long as it sounds as though it rhymes, it flies.)
10 – Sentence (Every player adds one word to a sentence, but must remember everything before it. Example: Player one says “the,” player two says “the sexy,” player three says “the sexy Pattison”, player four says “the sexy Pattison Pundit,” etc. etc. This sentence continues until somebody forgets how the sentence goes. More fun if you put in ridiculous noises, or sounds. One time, we attempted to put the Chewbacca noise in our sentence. Funniest sentence ever. Probably the most difficult of the cards, especially when you’re drunk.)
Jack – Back (The person behind the person selecting the card drinks)
Queen – Waterfall (Everybody starts chugging their beer, and must continue until the person before them in turn stops drinking. Torture for those at the end of the waterfall)
King – King’s Cup (A cup, during the entire game, is placed in the middle of the cards. When a person selects the king, they can put as much or as little of their beer into the cup as they please. The person to select the final of the four kings must chug the king’s cup)
Ace – Make a rule (This is where the game is truly fun – the game is made or lost with rules. For example, if you curse, you drink. Or, if you say somebody’s name, you have to keep your chin on the table until somebody else says a name. The crazier and more torturous, the more fun the game. We once played that, if you said the word drink, you had to do a freestyle rap. It was painful, and hysterical, though I recall laying down some phat beats, yo (Editor’s note: Oh woooord?)).
The key to Kings is having people who are creative and don’t mind acting a bit foolish in the name of entertainment. No stiffs allowed.
2. Baseball – Baseball is sooooo very close to being my number one, but it doesn’t have quite the classic appeal of the game that tops my list. However, it is the combination of that game and flip cup, and is formatted after the game it is named for, baseball. Essentially, you need a table, and two teams of two. Two sets of four cups are set in a straight line at the back middle on opposing sides of the table. These are the cups that are shot at. Two more sets of three cups are put on one side of the table. These cups are played as flip cups.
One team shoots at a time, in three-out innings. The four cups each represent a different hit in baseball: the closest cup is a single, the second is a double, the third is a triple, and the furthest away is a homer. If, however, you miss a cup, it is an out. Now, let’s say you hit the first cup, for a single. You can then go over to the flipping cups, and, if you choose, drink the beer out of one cup and attempt to flip it before a member of the other team drinks their beer and flips their cup. If you beat them, you steal a base; if they beat you, you are out. You can continue to steal all the way home, if they never beat your flip. You continue to shoot until you record three outs, and then the home team shoots. The game can be played for as many innings as you desire, though I recommend beginners start at about five. Why, you ask?
BECAUSE IT’LL GET YOU DRUNK!!!
Those are the basic rules. There are also balks, and other little add-ons for more serious players. If you like baseball, the number one game about to be revealed below, flip cup, and consuming copious amounts of booze, this is the perfect game for you. If you don’t – grow a set. (Editor’s note: And how!)
1. Beer Pong – Was there ever any doubt? Who doesn’t play beer pong? I’ve played beer pong at family parties, at college parties, at picnics, with my roommate when we’re bored. Have you ever been to a college party where beer pong wasn’t being played? And have you ever met anyone who didn’t enjoy the game? I think not. It has strategy (when to rack, to bounce or not to bounce, coming up with methods for fazing out the opponents), and it takes skill, which strangely seems to improve as you drink more. Plus, at every party, there are the house rules. Everyone plays slightly different: some allow more racks, some play with 10 cups, or with two sets of six cups, some don’t allow bouncing, some allow no re-racking at all. Hell, I’ve been to parties that allow guys to finger spinning balls out of their cups – and when I say guys, I mean “guys”. It allows for a home court advantage, and I like that. Plus, it’s so simple to set up: cups, ping-pong balls, beer, table, hours of entertainment. Simply the best.
I end the list with this: The Pundit is always open to learning new games. Any that should have been on here? And any you think perhaps I have never played, but should know about? Please, share the love, and have a great weekend.