Category Archives: NHL

April showers bring May Brett Favre rumors; Manny being Manny just ain’t true

Sixers need a new coach – give me Avery Johnson. Samuel Dalembert and Willie Green for Andrei Kirilenko? I’d do that yesterday. Ray Emery to the Flyers? Only if he keeps his gloves on. Jamie got rocked by the Mets again. Still, the Fightins are hitting. Last year, pitching came early, hitting late. Hopefully, this season is just a bizarro version of the last. Little drama for the Eagles this week. Rare. But such is not the case all over the NFL…

Despite the fact that Favre is sticking to the “I’m actually retired this time” story, reports linking him to the Vikings have been running rampantly across my television and computer screens, embedding themselves into the rather large section of my brain that thaws again every Spring. Will he or won’t he? Should he or shouldn’t he?

Should we care, or shouldn’t we? Continue reading

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Diary of a Sports Lunatic

Stardate 042609. Feeling quite pleased with the Phillies three-game sweep of the Marlins. Truly filleted their bullpen. Opportunistic bats storm to the forefront. Jamie Moyer doesn’t drink cocktails, he sips from the fountain of youth. Cameron Maybin looks like a lost puppy at the plate. Raul Ibanez is the only man on the planet who has my full-fledged support to sport the soul patch. Need – desperately – to get tickets for next weekend’s series against the Mets.

And so our journey begins. Surely, there was no way to get tickets directly through the Phillies. Other mediums had to be explored, and thus, my roommate Lucy and I were forced into the most despicable of predicaments – dealing with online scalpers.

What a depraved, dishonest and dispassionate man the online scalper is. Hording away tickets that otherwise well-intentioned fans might purchase in order to make himself a buck. It’s bad enough that the Phillies have begun to attract teeny-boppers and frat boys who experiment with steroids, all attending in the name of “making the scene”; now, an honest fan can’t even buy a damn ticket at face value. Where were you during the Gregg Jeffries’ years, you bandwagon barbarians? Playing twister with all of the pink-jersey’d Eagles groupies, I’d imagine.

Ridiculous.

Though I will suffer them so long as they yell loudly when the real fans yell, and don’t make a complete mockery of the True Philadelphia Fan by stooping to the level of mindless marauder, feeding into the Exploitative National Media’s stock definition of our people.

That I cannot tolerate.

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A powerful weekend in Philly sports

As a day well-spent brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death. – Leonardo da Vinci

First things first: my utmost commendations to the Phillies organization for a wonderful, touching, and heart-wrenching service for Harry Kalas on Saturday afternoon. Unless you are an alien from a planet renowned for its lack of emotion, you probably watched most of the procession through misty eyes. Lord knows this Pundit did.

I think the moment that will always stand out for me from the day, a moment that was just so beautiful and emotional, was watching Harry’s friends, family and members of the Phillies pass his casket down the line, as “Bridge Over Troubled Waters” played over the PA system. A proper send-off to a beloved man.

We’ll always love you, Harry. Do me a favor – ask Whitey if he can smell the rain coming up there in heaven, would you?

One final footnote to the procession – people around the country can say what they want about Philadelphia fans, conjuring up embellished stories of the day we murdered Santa Claus, or whatever the hell it was we did. But they can never say that this city does not love its own with a passion rarely found elsewhere. The key to that sentence, of course, is “its own.” Philly won’t call you its own just because you live here, or work here, or play here. Philly will call you its own if you bust your butt off, displaying a love for what you do and the people you do it with…if you’re good at what you do but never arrogant…if you give everything you have; and if that isn’t enough, you make no excuses, just give a little bit more next time…if you understand that we will ride you when you aren’t performing up to your capabilities, but we will embrace you wholeheartedly when you do…that our energy and excitement will propel you to victory if you put yourself in a position to win.

Harry understood that, embraced it, and embodied it. That fact, as much as his golden pipes, made him one of the most treasured figures this city has ever known.

Because, at the end of the day, this town isn’t for everybody. Let all of those who don’t understand grit, hard work, undying passion, despair in defeat, and unadulterated joy in victory live somewhere else. We will continue to live and die with every pitch, pass and shot. We will continue to heckle the slackers, praise the scrappers, and love our teams through thick and thin, even if that means the boos rain down in a stifling display of tough love.

This is Philadelphia – this is the place for those with a thick skin, a workmanlike attitude, and a heart almost too big for the chest it beats in.

This is our city. And Harry fit right in. You will not be forgotten, HK.

Now to the events on the diamond, ice and court. Continue reading

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In a strange twist, David Wright knocks in Jimmy Rollins to win game; plus, a quick Tourney note

Hey, I’m not going to act like I watched the U.S. play Puerto Rico – I was too busy yelling at the the TV while the Red Wings came back to beat the Flyers, or standing on my couch and pumping my fist after Iggy knocked down the game-winning three against the Lakers.

But this was a hell of a finish in its own right, and featured a few of our Phillies in prominent roles. Video after the jump. Continue reading

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Flyers release Briere’s groin; replacement groin to come from Carcillo?

ASSociated Press — In a surprising announcement earlier today, the Philadelphia Flyers have released the injured groin of Daniel Briere.

The move comes after Briere – who has played in only 12 games this season due to injury – reaggrevated the groin last evening in the Flyers 5-1 loss against Calgary. Though initially reported to be a day-to-day setback, the organization has decided to cut ties with the oft-injured groin.

“Obviously, this wasn’t an easy decision for the Flyers or for Danny Briere, but in the end, we felt that it was the best decision for all parties,” said Flyers GM Paul Holmgren. Continue reading

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Flyers Fans Most Disruptive, Maintain Regional Hatred of Santa Claus

In a recent poll conducted by 193 NHL players for ESPN, Philadelphia was voted as having the most “disruptive” fans. Here’s the write-up:

Every fan believes their city has the best fans, but NHL players on average found Philly to be the most disruptive. From the “Broad Street Bullies” to the “Legion of Doom,” Flyers fans are knowledgeable and passionate, but they are also very vocal. Remember, Flyers fans even booed Santa Claus.

Wait – I don’t remember that last part ever happening… Continue reading

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The Pundit hands out some hardware for Philly’s best this year – It’s the first annual Punny Awards!

(Editor’s note: Ah, New Year’s. A time of year for all of the various articles handing out “best-of-the-year” awards to come pouring out. Not to be outdone, The Pundit has joined in the holiday tradition with his first annual “Punny Awards.” One quick note: These awards will not include the current Flyers, Sixers, or any of the college basketball teams. Everything will be from teams that played the majority of their season in 2008. On to the awards!)

Award shows are really where it’s at. I mean, they’re so ridiculous. Famous audience members pretending to not posture for the camera. Cheesy video montages. And, my favorite, the poorly scripted and unenthusiastically delivered introductions to each award by disinterested celebrities who are probably half-tanked. I think that’s how we’ll run the Punnies.

And so, with that in mind, please put your hands together for Samuel L. Jackson, who will be presenting the Punny for Quote of the Year. Continue reading

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The Pundit’s Power Rankings: Plaxico shoots up the list!

Unlike traditional Power Rankings, which attempt to rank teams on a week-to-week basis, the Pundit’s Power Rankings avoid such arbitrary silliness. Instead, The Pundit wishes only to rank the pertinence, scope, and conversational value of the top sports stories of the week. Extra points for any stories that lend themselves to relentless mockery and high-horse rhetoric. On to the Rankings!

1. Plaxico Burress shoots himself in thigh

A true run-and-shoot offense. Well, shoot and run, I suppose. And I’m not sure if I’d be running after I had shot myself in the thigh. Whatever. I feel as though we need to go over the details of this one more time: Plaxico Burress shoots himself in the thigh after stuffing his handgun, which didn’t have a safety, into his sweatpants while hanging out at a club. A handgun he didn’t have a permit for in New York, a city notoriously strict on illegal possession of firearms. And not only do the Giants lose their best receiver, but one of their top linebackers, Antonio Pierce, might be in some trouble as well. This story speaks for itself.

2. The Juice is no longer on the loose

At this point, anything I say would just be piling on. And that’s what, a 15-year penalty?

3. Sean Avery’s sloppy seconds

Hard to believe he got a six-game suspension for what he said. Classy? Hell no. But worth a six-game suspension? Hardly. Seems to me like the NHL was looking for a reason to crack down on what they felt to be one of their more unsavory characters, and they got their money’s worth. Quick question: on a sloppy-second score, is Avery credited with an assist?

4. NFL players take substance to mask steroids, suspensions suspended

Anybody else think it’s a bit fishy that the Hennepin County District Judge Gary Larson, of Minnesota, was the judge who temporarily delayed the suspensions of the 5 players accused of using diuretics to mask steroids? Which, of course, led to a federal judge blocking the suspensions until a further investigation into the matter could take place. Would Judge Larson have taken such a vested interest in the manner if the Williams Wall, and the Vikings playoff hopes, weren’t in jeopardy? I have no idea, but I love a conspiracy theory as much as the next guy, so I’m going to go the paranoid route. Which is why I’m almost positive that Matt Cassel has been taking injections of Tom Brady’s DNA, Tony Sparano is actually Tony Soprano and is involved in a massive point-shaving operation, explaining the Dolphins sudden success, and somebody suddenly changed the overtime rules without telling anyone in week 11, confusing Donovan McNabb and, apparently, a huge contingent of NFL players. Oh, and Plaxico Burress didn’t shoot himself in the thigh – there was another shooter up on the grassy knoll, maaan…

5. Charlie Weis’ future in question

Let’s do some math, ok? Alright, here’s a problem to start with: Unlimited resources + a multitude of highly touted recruits + a lucrative television contract + a huge contract for your head coach + the past four years = 28-21 record and two losses in the Fiesta Bowl. Oh, and the two losses in the Fiesta Bowl were with players almost exclusively recruited by Tyrone Willingham. I despise Notre Dame and their College Football politicking, so seeing them fail doesn’t bother me much – I say, let Charlie work it out. Heh…

(And now, for a commercial break. This has nothing to do with this post at all, but I just saw this TV, and it absolutely cracked me up – they were offering commemorative Barack Obama half-dollars. I mean, seriously? What’s next, the Collector’s Edition Obama Oreo Tin?)

6. Oklahoma or Texas? The BCS again reveals its flaws

Though, after watching Oklahoma absolutely toy with Missouri during four lopsided quarters, its hard to argue that Oklahoma doesn’t deserve to be where they are right now. I mean, if you’re a college football fan, the Oklahoma vs. Florida match-up has to be getting you pretty pumped up.  Plus, Penn State vs. USC, and Texas, Alabama, Utah and Ohio State pairing off should actually make for a decent bowl season. Still, even though I supported Oklahoma being the Big-12 South champion, I can’t help but feel as though Texas got absolutely screwed. Hey, at least ESPN now has the broadcasting rights to the BCS after Fox’s contract runs up – now we’ll get years of the Gameday Crew touting the wonders of the BCS. Hooray!

7. Arbitration, Free Agency in MLB

None of the major moves have happened to this point, so much of this story has simply been speculation. Player X is going here, player Y is going there, Scott Boras is a huge piece of shit, etc. etc. Well, except for that last part – that’s just true. Once Manny and CC are signed, sealed and delivered, the rest will fall like dominoes. As for me, I’d like to see Derek Lowe end up in Philly, as well as a second to third-tier outfielder. What I think will happen?  Jamie Moyer will be back, and we’ll still get a second to third-tier outfielder. Though I have a feeling that Mr. Amaro is going to want to make a splash in his first offseason…

That’s it for this week’s Pundit Power Rankings – be sure to check in tomorrow for some postgame Eagles reactions.

E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!

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The Pundit Poll – What is the best rivalry in Philly Sports?

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The Pundit feels empty inside – Finding ways to replace the high of the Phillies

I used to love the summer breaks from college, especially before I moved into Philadelphia on a permanent basis. You get like 4 friggin’ months off, for God’s sake. And it always offers the possibility of one of the truly great scenarios in life: the Summer Fling.

You normally know your Summer Fling from high school, and the two of you always kind of had chemistry, but for whatever reason, nothing ever came to fruition. During this particular summer, however, the pieces fell into place, and you’re each on the same page. A couple of months, no long-term commitment, and a whole lot of fun.  Once you go back to school, all bets are off, because, honestly, who wants to start a serious relationship and then move hours apart from the person after a few months? It makes no sense.

The Summer Fling is right up there with Friends With Benefits, though that almost always becomes Friends With Relationship, which can dangerously stray into Ex-Friends With Hang-Ups.  The Summer Fling, if done correctly, offers all of the comforts and pleasures of a relationship, without any of that unwanted commitment.

Unless, of course, you get hooked.

Unless you realize that your Summer Fling is a friggin’ awesome person, and even though you weren’t ever planning on any form of committment with the person, and you were looking forward to going back and casting your line into the College pool of honeys, you are suddenly totally crazy for this person. Shoot, you even start to do the “God, I don’t want the summer to end because I won’t see so-and-so any longer.” Which makes you think that maybe you could deal with a long-term relationship, which makes you realize that you are going to be waaaaaaayyyyyyy off your game back at school. Not a good position to be in…not at all.

So, uh, Mr. Pundit, what in God’s name does this have to do with sports?

Right. See, this is how I am feeling right now, except my Summer Fling was with the Phillies, and all of the other sports teams suddenly aren’t cutting it anymore. I’m not really excited to see them, or get to know them, which is odd, because the Eagles, Sixers, and Flyers are all potential playoff teams, and Penn State has a very good chance of playing for the National Championship. I’ve known the Phillies for years, but something fell into place this year, and now, I just can’t imagine being committed to another team like I was with them. Normally, I would have my Summer Fling with the Phils, Eagles training camp would open, Penn State would get rolling, and I’d be playing the field once more. But this year, those damn, sexy Phillies sunk their teeth right into me and I can’t shake this fever. (Editor’s note: Ok, that just got weird and pretty disturbing on a number of levels).

They ruined me.

Alright, alright, so that’s a bit dramatic. (Editor’s note: A bit? That’s like saying Oprah was a bit excited after Barack Obama got elected, or that the white dude she was leaning on during his entire speech was a bit curious as to how he became a piece of human furniture for the Daytime Diva). But, for the past week, all I have wanted to do was to watch some baseball, and I have been far more interested this week in listening to trade talks for next season than getting hyped for an absolutely gigantic game against the Giants on Sunday.

The Phillies high was just so damn good, and I’ve crashed back to earth. Without that high, I’ve become disinterested, fairly unmotivated, and, if you haven’t picked up on it already, ridiculously bleak. Now, an Eagles win this Sunday night would go wonders to getting me back to my old self. Still, I’m not taking any chances. Below I’ve listed several ways I am going to attempt to rediscover my Phillies high, ways to get that loving feeling back.

1. Actively watch the games. Don’t just sit in front of your tube and watch – get out and do something while you are watching. Tailgate. Go to a bar with a bunch of your friends. Actually get tickets for Flyers and Sixers game. Start looking up hotel prices for Miami, like my buddy Jacobs has been doing, just in case Penn State gets a bid to the Big Game. Don’t be a passive viewer, people – make it an experience.

2. Play some damn sports your damn self. This weekend, I am organizing a big kickball game with some of my friends. Physical activity clears my head, and excercising always helps reduce hangovers and lessens the effects of withdrawl.

3. Change up your routine. If you normally listen to WIP, listen to ESPN Radio. If you normally read the Inquirer’s sports section, check out the Daily News. If you always went to Beerleaguer, go over to the 700 Level or any of the other quality Philly Blogs out there. (Editor’s note: And obviously, always come to The Pattison Pundit. Seriously. He needs the readership). Mindless routine is the fertilizer of depression – change it up, man!

4. Take chances. Make a big fantasy football trade. Buy a Sixers or Flyers ticket package without first referencing your bank account. That’ll keep you on your toes. Bet a tad too much money on the Eagles. Every week. That’ll keep you on the edge of your seat. See if you can watch an entire episode of Daily News Live without falling asleep. Actually, do anything but that. Anything at all.

5. Give yourself some time to be okay again. Hey, listen – you’ll have days when you just miss the Phillies. You’ll just wonder how they are doing, you know? You’ll just want to see a Chase Utley swing again, or another Brad Lidge slider, or Cole Hamel’s hair whipping in an October breeze. (Editor’s note: Dude, you’re freakin’ me out, Pundit.) And yeah, you’re going to miss those crazy nights at the bar with your friends, watching the Phils make history. You’ll miss the camraderie you had with total strangers, and the chants that encapsulated every fucking inch of the bar. Hey, I know how hard it is – I had to go outside and smoke a cigarette in the middle of this post, because the flashbacks were getting pretty intense.

But you’re going to be okay.

It’s going to get easier. You’ll get that life-or-death feel back every time the Eagles are in a close game. You’ll start watching all of the other top contenders in College Football, to see if Penn State can get to that National Championship game. You’ll get into the ebb and flow of the basketball and hockey seasons. March Madness will blow your mind, like it does every year. And before you know it, Spring Training will be here once again. Baseballs will whip around the diamond once more. Charlie Manuel will resume his waddle to the mound.

Ah, the Summer Fling. You know you shouldn’t, but you’ll always go back – there’s just never enough of a good thing, is there?

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