Category Archives: College Football

10-3 Redskins. Unbelievable. The Pundit is BOILING as he attempts to do Game Notes

ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?

(Sigh) Well, the Eagles had everything fall into place for them before the start of the game. Tampa Bay lost to San Diego, and there it was in front of our Birds: win two, and head off to the playoffs.

And they couldn’t do it.

Continue reading

2 Comments

Filed under College Football, Eagles, General, NFL, Olympics, Sixers, Uncategorized

After the tumultous season the Eagles have had, they’re the sanest team in the NFC East? Actually, yeah…

Wait, that can’t be right. I mean, first, we had the controversy with Lito Sheppard. And all of the talk about how we couldn’t stop anybody’s running game and how Donovan couldn’t win the close ones. And then we tied the friggin’ Bengals, and Donovan admitted he didn’t know how the overtime system worked. Than, he got benched against the Ravens, for Chrissakes. All of this while most of Philly was calling for Andy Reid’s head on a silver platter, because of the unbalanced play-calling, and his terrible record at replay challenges, and his clock-management, and his inability to make in-game adjustments, and his personnel decisions, and…

Awwww dude, that is so not cool. Yeah, um, that was the only picture we could find with a head on a silver platter-  yeah, that sounds right...

Awwww dude, that is so not cool. Yeah, um, that was the only picture we could find with a head on a platter. Right...

Where does the whole sane thing come into play, exactly?

Continue reading

1 Comment

Filed under College Football, Eagles, General, NFL, Olympics, Uncategorized

Game Notes: Eagles vs. Cleveland Steamers

What do Scott Weiland and the Cleveland Steamers, eh, Browns have in common? Glad you asked. Scott Weiland spent his glory years with the Stone Temple Pilots in the 90’s. The Browns spent their glory years in Cleveland until 1995, when they were shipped to Baltimore by Cleveland’s Antichrist, Art Modell. Weiland often battled a heroin addiction; Cleveland fans battled not having a team to support. Weiland never achieved the same level of musical quality or cultural relevance after splitting with the band (Editor’s note: Sorry, Velvet Revolver doesn’t quite cut it). The Browns have had only two winning seasons in the past nine years, and only made the playoffs in one of those years. Oh, and Weiland has a new song out right now – what’s the name of that song?

Oh, right: “Missing Cleveland.”

"This is for you, Modell!"

"This is for you, Modell!"

Which any pure NFL fan with an appreciation for traditional football organizations does. Which the old Dawg Pound most certainly did for the three years Cleveland was team-less. Cleveland fans are some of the best football fans in America, and they deserved better than losing their team, and they deserve better than this one. So, that being said, hopefully the Eagles will decimate the Browns tonight and keep their playoff hopes alive.

But just know, Cleveland: I feel for you. I really do. Now to my game notes.

8: 29 PM: Oh man, the ESPN pregame crew is so super funny. They are all giggling, pretending like they might not pick the Eagles in this game. What whimsical irony they deftly wield in front of our eyes like the most graceful of swordsmen. (Editor’s note: What mildly phallic prose The Pundit stumbles over in his attempts at high-minded wit).

8:34 PM: Does any sport lend itself to better sexual innuendo than football? Brian Westbrook really hits the hole hard. The tight end was wide open. Good catch. The Browns are unveiling their flash package. I mean, it’s friggin’ priceless. (Editor’s note: This post has not yet been rated).

8:43 PM: Very nice sideline catch by Jason “Idiot” Avant.

8:45 PM: The Eagles are doing what they need to do early – mixing the running game with the passing attack and marching down the field, all topped off by a beautiful catch by Kevin Curtis in the end zone. Nice ball, nice jumping catch, and the Eagles take the 7-0 lead.

8:53 PM: Josh Cribbs gets a first down on a counter run in the flash package. They should probably just let Cribbs play quarterback.

8:54 PM: Spoke to soon. Ken Dorsey beats the blitz and throws a perfect fade to Braylon Edwards. Good God, the Browns are threatening to score their first touchdown after three games without one!

8:57 PM: Ah, it’s just the Browns. Their no-touchdown streak lives on; 7-3 Eagles.

8:59 PM: Another nice return by Demps – I love this kid’s motor.

9:04 PM: Apparently, Jason Avant is our first-down guy tonight. Nice snag over the middle to keep the drive going. So far, the offense is balanced. But what happens when the scripted plays run out…

9:10 PM: Another nice drive by the Eagles offense, though they couldn’t punch it in. 10-3 Birds.

9:11 PM: Is anybody else completely done with the UPS whiteboard guy? (Editor’s note: Yup).

9:17 PM: Stewart Bradley blasts Jamal Lewis at the line of scrimmage. Great pursuit angle by Bradley on the play. One play later, the Eagles blow up Cribbs in the Flash. The Eagles D, after the Browns worked down the field on the first drive, have suddenly awoken.

9:23 PM: Jaworski has been highlighting it, and it’s a very good point: Westbrook, other than being an amazing runner and receiver out of the backfield, is also very adroit at picking up the blitz in the passing game. It certainly has helped McNabb, who has been on point with his passes: 11-15 to open the game.

9:29 PM: Sometimes, we all get a little too fancy. Like the Eagles running the Wildcat on third-and-goal and having DeSean Jackson throw the ball. Which resulted in an interception. Bollocks! (Editor’s note: Though a better throw by Jackson may have resulted in a TD. That’s it – put in Kevin Kolb. For DeSean Jackson. Trust me, it’ll get the point across…) Three drives into the red zone on three possessions, and only 10 points. The one thing you do not want to do with a team like the Browns is let them hang around – put them away while you have the chance, and don’t give them any unnecessary confidence.

9:35 PM: Asante Samuel intercepts a Dorsey pass, and takes it to the house. That’s why he makes the big bucks, people. Though he almost pulled a DeSean by dropping the ball before the goal line. Thankfully, he woke up and picked the ball up in the end zone. Guys, just act like you’ve been there before. Nice job by Chris Clemons getting pressure on Dorsey and forcing the poor throw. You’re off the hook, DeSean. (Editor’s note: Alright Kolb, sit back down, buddy).

9:43 PM: Trent Cole wills his way to another sack. Another man that needs a nickname. What about Trent Coletrain? (Editor’s note: Not bad, though there’s really no musical connection).

9:45 PM: You know a team is in trouble when one of the graphics ESPN has prepared for you is the potential coaches that will take over for the incumbent after the year. Ah, the poor, poor Cleveland fans.

9:54 PM: WHY CAN’T THE EAGLES FINISH A HALF WITHOUT SOMETHING NEGATIVE HAPPENING? McNabb under throws a fade, and if it weren’t for the hustle of Brian Westbrook and friends, the Browns would have returned the pick for a TD. Aaaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhh! (Editor’s note: Though it was a pretty one-handed pick by Brandon McDonald). The Eagles have been in the red zone four times, and have 10 points for their efforts. That’s just not good enough, but they still lead at the half, 17-7. Thank God we’re playing the Steamers.

10:11 PM: Braylon Edwards is really playing well tonight – another very nice grab by Mr. Monday Night.

10:22 PM: The Eagles are moving once more – another third-down conversion to Action Jackson. (Editor’s note: Oh, we’re doing that now?) Amazing what manageable third-downs can do for an offense. (Editor’s note: Alright, now you’re just being damn smug about this whole offensive balance thing).

10:30 PM: Five red zone trips, and only 13 offensive points. I know the score is 20-3 in the favor of the Birds, but their chances in the red zone against the Redskins and Cowboys will be more limited than this. You have to be able to convert these opportunities – it’s about consistent efficiency, people.

10:41 PM: Another beautiful throw from McNabb to First-Down Avant. Not sure what the Eagles third-down conversions are at right now, but it has to be at a high percentage.

10:46 PM: 10-14 on third downs after the Eagles again fail to convert in the red zone, or as Jaws so eloquently put it, the Vomit Zone. (Editor’s Note: While enjoying your stay at the Vomit Zone, be sure to check out feature films at our state-of-the-art multiplex. Now playing:  “2 Girls 1 Cup.” Do enjoy!) Eagles up 23-3, early fourth.

Dude...

Dude...

10:52 PM: Wow. Ken Dorsey just threw an inexplicable duck right into the hands of a surprised Stewart Bradley. I don’t think there was a Brown within ten yards of Bradley. I can already imagine the conversation between Romeo Crennel and Ken Dorsey on the sideline.

Crennel: Man, what was that?

Dorsey: Sorry coach, I, uh, thought I could squeeze it in there.

Crennel: Into where? There wasn’t one of our guys in the vicinity of that pass!

Dorsey: Would this be a strange time to tell you that I’m color blind?

Crennel: For one, yes, now would be a completely inexcusable time to mention that you’re color blind. And on top of that, even if you’re color blind, you could still distinguish between their dark tops and our white tops.

Dorsey: Would now be a strange time to tell you that I suffer from frequent bursts of random amnesia?

Crennel: Good God, just fire me already…

10:56 PM: Holy cow, the Eagles scored a red zone TD! Alright, Eagles. Greg Lewis, who is still, inexplicably, on this team, was sitting in a hole in the defense at the back of the end zone. 30-3 Eagles.

11:06 PM: Oh no! Andy Reid benched Donovan and put Kevin Kolb in the game! All is lost. For the Browns. Let’s see what the Kolbler can do. Wow, I didn’t so much as finish typing before Kolb threw a pick to McDonald, who took his second pick to the house. And the Browns finally score a touchdown. Congrats, fellas. Oh, and let’s definitely get rid of McNabb after the season is over – Kevin Kolb is without doubt ready to take over the reins of this offense. (Editor’s note: In the immortal words of Borat Sagdiyev: “Not!”)

11:14 PM: And there it is! The inevitable reference to Philadelphia fans throwing snowballs at Santa Claus! Our streak lives on – that’s now 1,238,543 consecutive national broadcasts with the Santa Claus story being mentioned! For the love of God, let it go! (Editor’s note: Anybody know if Santa retaliated by throwing coal into the stands?)

Apparentely, Santa took out his frustrations from that fateful day on some unsuspecting elf...

Apparentely, Santa took out his frustrations from that fateful day on some unsuspecting elf...

11:22 PM: Well, it’s the two-minute warning. I think I’ll be signing off now. Eagles stay alive in the playoff race, and start to prepare for the Redskins. This one was never really in question. Keep your heads up, Cleveland fans: karma will swing your way soon. Hopefully, the Browns will field a successful team once more.

You deserve nothing less.

E-A-G-L-E-S  EAGLES!

2 Comments

Filed under College Football, Eagles, General, NFL, Olympics, Uncategorized

The Pundit’s Power Rankings: Meetings in Vegas, Portis is pissed, and Harrell can just stay home

Unlike traditional Power Rankings, which attempt to rank teams on a week-to-week basis, the Pundit’s Power Rankings avoid such arbitrary silliness. Instead, The Pundit wishes only to rank the pertinence, scope, and conversational value of the top sports stories of the week. Extra points for any stories that lend themselves to relentless mockery and high-horse rhetoric. On to the Rankings!

1. The Winter Meetings

They say, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. In baseball’s case, what happens in Vegas ends up in New York. The Yankees and the Mets were the biggest players during the Winter meetings, with the Yankees landing free agency’s biggest prize, CC Sabathia. Plus, it looks like they’re going to snag A.J. Burnett. (Editor’s note: Damn Yankees). The Mets added pitching as well, obtaining closer Francisco Rodriguez. Plus, they added one more putz to their roster- setup man J.J. Putz, that is. (Editor’s note: Wow, never saw that first-rate zinger coming). Or, as they’re saying in New York: J.J. Pootz. Hah. Still waiting to see where big-namers like Manny Ramirez, Mark Teixeira and Derek Lowe wind up. And the rest of the National League can breathe a bit easier, as for now, talks between the Cubs and Padres over Jake Peavy are dead. May they rest in peace, and never, ever come back to life. Stay tuned.

2. Clinton Portis vs. Jim Zorn?

Clinton Portis was unhappy about being on the bench in the second half of a loss against the Ravens this past week, and he exclaimed his anger on a local D.C. radio program, going so far as to sarcastically call Zorn a “genius.” Then, it leaked that many of the players weren’t happy with Zorn’s habit of talking to the media about the specific mistakes made by players during games, and apparentely, some of the playcalling. Fun stuff in Washington, especially for a team that has dropped four of their last five games. Though, maybe this type of thing shouldn’t surprise us from Portis anymore…

What in the hell...?

What in the hell...?

3. Heisman Ceremony minus Harrell

Coach Mike Leech was pissed that Harrell wasn’t invited to New York. Many members of the National Media were pissed that Harrell wasn’t invited to New York. Me? Eh, doesn’t bother me – for me, the contest was between the three guys they picked. Though Harrell put up some sick numbers: 4,747 passing yards, 41 passing TD’s, 6 rushing TD’s, 7 INT’s, a 71.5% completion percentage. Let’s be honest: if Texas Tech plays at least a competitive game against Oklahoma, he gets the invite. It’s all about the last impression you leave people, and unfortunetely for Mr. Harrell, his cost him dearly.

4. The Cowboys in disarray

Jerry Jones is calling out Marion Barber for not playing through his injury? TO thinks there is some sort of conspiracy going on between Tony Romo and Jason Witten to get Witten, and not TO, the ball? The Cowboys are the perfect example of why you can look lovely on paper, but if you have no chemistry, all the paper in the world can’t ensure a championship. Jerry Jones, shut your mouth, and let your players play. TO, just shut your mouth, period. Why wouldn’t Romo want to get you, one of the most talented recievers in football, the ball? You normally make him look good – accept the fact that sometimes, the defense will dictate who Romo throws the ball to. It’s common sense, isn’t it? I guess it’s just TO’s world, and we’re polluting it, apparently.

5. Jimmy V Week

“Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever.” – Jim Valvano

If you can watch the speech he gave at the 1993 ESPY’s and not get a little choked up, you are probably a robot. Jim Valvano was a great example of how sports can extend beyond the field and impact the lives of so many people. Wins and losses, they fade in time. Some things live on.

“To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.”

Amen.

6. Injunction suspended for NFL players

Looks like the Vikings and Saints can breathe easy, as they will likely keep their players for the playoff push. This was a bigger story last week, and I still think it’s fishy that the judge who ruled on this presides in Minnesota, but whatever. I mean, is anybody all that scared of the Vikings or Saints, anyway?

Viiiiiiiiiictory!

Viiiiiiiiiictory!

7. Carmelo Anthony goes for 33 in one quarter

I mean, that’s just ridiculous. 33 in a quarter? Unheard of. Melo’s got game, son, for real for real. Let’s put that into perspective: not one Sixer has gone over 33 points in a single game this year! Which is probably as sad for the Sixers as it is impressive of Melo.

1 Comment

Filed under College Basketball, College Football, MLB, NBA, NFL, The Pundit's Power Rankings

The Heisman Trophy, or The Dating Game?

(Editor’s note: The Pundit had to run out of town, so his Heisman article is going to be replaced by his secretary Lucy’s experience on The Dating Game. Yeah, they brought it back. Here are the questions she proposed to her three mystery guys – maybe you can guess who they are. Good luck. )

Lucy: Contestant number one, what would we do on our first date?

Contestant Number One: Well, I really like to spread my money around, so I would take you to a really expensive restaurant. I’m a high-roller, that’s just my style. And I would probably buy you a gaudy, expensive gift and give it to you before dinner. Kind of like the 48 gifts I gave out to my teammates this season.

Lucy: Oooooh, I like the sound of that so far. Contestant Number Two, what is the first word you would use to describe yourself, and why?

Contestant Number Two: Consistent. When I say I’m going to do something, I do it, and I do it well. You always know what you are going to get from me, and I almost always deliver it. Kind of like how I delivered and completed 77.6 percent of my passes this season.

Lucy: I like a man I can count on. Contestant Number Three, I also like a man who has goals to reach. What are some of the goals you’ve already reached, and which do you have left to accomplish?

Contestant Number Three: Well, actually Lucy, I already won this contest last year. Let’s just say I offered things that had never been offered before, if you catch my drift. I would love to win again this year, but I have my goals set higher these days. After a rough trip to Mississippi, I decided that I was going to be the best I could, and that my team had better follow suit. I think they’ll tell you that I did my part, only throwing two interceptions all season.

Lucy: Contestant Number Three, you seem like a leader. Is that true, and what makes you a good leader?

Number Three: I try to be the best leader I can be. I think my versatility, durability, poise and passion for what I do translate to success. Many times, my coaches have said that I don’t always put up the best numbers, but there is something about the way I work that is just special. They say I have “it.” I appreciate the compliment, but really, I’m just trying to do my best. And I don’t think that accounting for 40 total touchdowns and 3,079 total yards from scrimmage is all too shabby, either.

Lucy: Sounds to me like you are a winner, Number Three. Contestant Number Two, let’s say we were on a date, and Contestant Number One came up and started hitting on me. What would you do?

Number Two: I would take him outside, man-to-man, head-to-head, and I would whip his sorry butt, that’s what I would do. And if he brought his boys, I’d bring mine, and me and my boys would whip all their butts! And we would be the better men for it, even if no one gave us credit for doing so.

Lucy: Oh, an old-fashioned, rugged man. You sound a little bit dangerous, Number Two, and it turns me on. Contestant Number One, do you think Contestant Number Two could kick your butt?

Number One: Maybe a few months ago, yeah, I’ll bet he could have. But right now, I think I would whup his tail. Me and my boys have been kicking a lot of butt lately. We’ve outscored our last five opponents 316-139, scoring over 60 in each of them. All knockouts, by the way. And against some pretty good opponents, including the second-ranked team in the country. Me and the boys, we’ve gotten tougher.

Lucy: I’m a knock-out myself. Think you could last a few rounds with me?

Number One: Oh, I think so. I’m a high-roller, baby – I know how to treat a woman. And I don’t let up when I get going. Kind of like how I’ve thrown for 4,464 yards this season – I never take it easy. The gifts keep on coming when you roll with me.

Lucy: I’ve got to say, you are very flashy, Number One – you know what a girl likes, and you seem to deliver it. I’m very impressed by all of the numbers you throw around. Contestant Number Two, you don’t seem as flashy – how do you compete with all of those numbers?

Number Two: You may not always get the gaudy gifts from me, but I’ll do anything it takes to make you happy. Ask my teammates – I’ve accounted for 4,021 total yards from scrimmage this year, and 576 of them I rushed for own my own. Which, by the way, is more than Contestant Number Three rushed for. That, and I accounted for 42 total touchdowns, while completing all of those passes. And truthfully, I don’t think I was working with quite the playmakers that the other two contestants had.

Lucy: Nobody has to hold your hand, Number Two. You sure do handle your business. Contestant Number Three, any retort to what Contestant Number Two just said?

Number Three: Let’s just say that I’m doing my job in a much tougher neighborhood then these two are. Neither one faced the type of defenses I faced. In fact, I played against six top-25 defenses this year, and nine in the top 30. In my six games against top-25 defenses, I led my team to a 5-1 record. I threw for 13 touchdowns, ran for another four, and didn’t throw a single interception in those games. My opponents may have put up fun numbers, but they received very little resistance. Contestant Number one only played against one top-25 defense, and only three of his opponents were even ranked, defensively, in the top 50. And Contestant Number Two didn’t even play a single top-50 defense!

Lucy: Hard to argue with. Got anything, Contestant Number Two?

Number Two: Well, they say the best defense is a good offense. In my league, offense ruled the day, and I put up a whole lot of it. The defenses may not have been good, but you still had to outscore the other offense. And honestly, my 4,021 total yards, 42 touchdowns, and 77.6 completion percentage trumps your 3,079 total yards, 40 total TD’s and 64.9% completion percentage. Easily.

Number Three: How about the five less interceptions I threw, finishing the season with an unheard of two? I only threw two interceptions this year!

Number Two: Sure, you threw five less interceptions – in 107 less passing attempts!

Lucy: Okay, guys, hold on, all of these numbers are starting to confuse me…

Number One: Numbers? You two want to talk about numbers? Ahahaha, I destroy each of you in the numbers department. I threw for 4,464 yards, more than either of you accounted for running and passing, combined. I tossed 48 TD passes, and ran for five more. I only threw six interceptions in 442 attempts, and I completed 68.3 percent of my passes. Neither of you can touch me in numbers.

Lucy: No more talking about numbers! I can’t take it anymore! It’s about more than numbers. It’s about more than where your team finished in the standings. And yes, it’s more than whether or not you seem to have that special “it” factor. See, when I pick a man, I look for diversity. Sure, I like the nice things in life, like a man with a nice car and house, one that buys me a bunch of nice gifts. What girl wouldn’t like that?

But I also like a man I know has survived the tough times, is battle-tested. I don’t want somebody who accomplishes a lot when he isn’t offered resistance, then folds when the sledding gets tough. And I like a man who does a lot on his own, and finds creative ways to overcome the challenges he faces. So with that, I’ve made my decision, and trust me, it was tough. Contestant Number Two, I choose you!

Colt McCoy: Yesssssss! It isn’t a shot for the National Championship, but I’ll take it. I would like to thank…

Lucy: Shut up Colt, I’m not done yet. Contestant Number One, Mr. Sam Bradford, you put up ridiculous numbers, I won’t deny that. But you also had more playmakers to work with than the other two guys, and their versatility, being able to beat teams both through the air and on the ground, makes them more well-rounded players than you. Maybe you’re a better quarterback, but I think they are better players, and the Heisman is supposed to go to the best player in the country. Sorry, Sam.

As for you, Number Three, Mr. Tim Tebow, it was very tough not giving you this award again. You have sacrificed some of your own personal stats to become a better game-manager, and you were a very good one. 40 total touchdowns with only two interceptions is incredible, and I congratulate you on an amazing season.

But Mr. McCoy’s numbers trumped your own, and his leadership, versatilaty, and value to his team trumped the advantage Mr. Bradford had over him in the statistics department. Accounting for 4,021 yards, 576 of them on the ground, and 42 total touchdowns, is very impressive. Completing 77.6 percent of all your passes is absolutely unbelievable, and that paired with your paltry seven interceptions leads me to believe that you would have performed well against tougher defenses.

You were a game-manager at all times, and a playmaker when your team needed one. You were one ridiculous touchdown catch away from leading your team to the National Championship Game. And no, that game wasn’t on a neutral field, it was on the road. To me, you were the most complete football player of the three in the Heisman running, and hence, you were my choice. Whew…I’m spent. Okay – who wants to buy me a drink?

Leave a comment

Filed under College Football, Sixers

The Pundit interviews Andy Reid! Well, sort of…

(Editor’s note: Obviously, The Pundit couldn’t score an actual interview with Andy Reid. We figure he didn’t want to field The Pundit’s probing inquiries. That, and we had no idea how the hell to get in touch with him. Right. But this how we think things might have gone).

The Pundit: Thanks for being here, Andy. Really appreciate you taking the time. Let’s get right to it – coming into the season, there was a lot of hype circulating around this team, both locally and nationally, especially after Dr. Z of Sports Illustrated picked you to make the Super Bowl. What expectations did you have for this team headed into the season?

Andy Reid: I’m going to pass on that question.

The Pundit: Um, alright, not a problem. Well, coming off of a disappointing season last year, did you change your approach at all coming into this year, or do you more fine-tune and tweak a few things here and there?

Reid: Yeah, I’m going to have to pass on that question.

Pundit: Right, okay, sure, I understand, let’s focus more on the present. What can you tell us about the Shawn Andrews situation as it currently stands?

Reid: I’ll pass on that question.

Pundit: Wow. Right. Um, in the most recent game against the Giants, did the offensive line really pick up their game, or was it more the case of them getting added cracks at the running game and eventually wearing down the New York defense?

Reid: Pass.

Pundit: Oh, Jesus Christ! Ok, whatever, you’re gonna be like this, than fine. I’ve got a bagful waiting for you, buddy. Did the health of Brian Westbrook these past two weeks factor into the gameplan whatsoever?

Reid: (Yawns) I’m going to pass on that question.

Pundit: Dude! Are you serious right now?

Reid: I’ll pass on that question.

Pundit: Wait, that wasn’t even a serious question. I mean, this is unbelievable! Work with me here, Andy. It’s a give and take – how can I accomplish anything in this interview if you refuse to answer any questions?

Reid: Sorry, but I would prefer to pass on that question.

Pundit: Aaaaagggghhhh! Did Donovan McNabb’s erratic play inspire you to run the ball these past two weeks?

Reid: Pass.

Pundit: IT’S QUITE POSSIBLE THAT I WILL STRIKE YOU IF YOU DO NOT ANSWER ONE OF MY DAMN QUESTIONS! ANY THOUGHTS ON THAT?

Reid: I won’t respond to that – I pass.

Pundit: Good God, I hope I brought my Xanax with me. Alright, alright, I gotta get something here – could you talk on the decision to sit Reggie Brown, and what led up to that decision?

Reid: (Seen flipping closed a cell phone): Did you know that if your regular cell phone minutes run out, they charge you overage fees? I wonder how that works… I’m sorry, I didn’t hear what you said, I was a bit tied up. Oh well, let’s just move on, it’s a long interview session, nothing we can do about it now.

Pundit: Mr. Reid, you are slowly dissolving my hope for humanity itself. I have never suffered through a more intolerable experience. Why do you refuse to…

Reid: Let me just interrupt you there, before you ruin this question for yourself, your fans, and myself. Let’s go ahead and bring somebody else in to finish the question. Do you have a back-up interviewer, someone else who could ask the question? How about that intern over there, he’ll probably do a better job of asking this next question. Go ahead, son.

Random Intern: I don’t know exactly what The Pundit was going to ask. This might not be it at all, but I’ll give it a shot: Why do you refuse to run the ball more consistently?

Reid: Son, I give you the opportunity to come into the interview and show me something, and you totally blow it. I’ll pass on your meager attempt. Alright Pundit, it can’t get any worse than that – you’re back in.

Pundit: Oh, goody-goody friggin’ gum drops. Fine, here’s one for you, since you won’t address yourself or the team, do you think the fans want to see the team continue to run the ball?

Reid: I think the fans really just want to win. They don’t really care if we throw it or run it, they just want to see W’s.*

Pundit: Holy cow, you responded. You actually ran with one of my questions. That’s…that’s a revelation. So, um, gosh, I don’t even now what to ask know, I just can’t believe I got an answer there. How about, uh, well, here we go, what made you guys go with a more run-reliant gameplan against the Giants?

Reid: The weather conditions were the biggest factor.*

Pundit: Yes! Yes, two answers in a row! Alright, let’s keep running with this, I really like the way we are headed right now. The success you had running the ball against the Giants was obvious, and it seemed to seep down to the rest of the team. For one, McNabb was much more effective in the passing attack, having shorter third downs to convert, and less pressure on his shoulders to make all of the plays. He was able to relax a bit more, and take what the defense gave him. And our own defense, spending less time on the field, was fresher than they’ve been much of the season, and kept a very good Giants running game in check. With all of that being said, can we expect to see a continued commitment to the running game down the stretch, with a playoff berth on the line?

Reid: Sorry, but I’ll pass.

That’s what I’m afraid of…

*Sections marked with the asterick are actual quotes from Andy Reid, and were referenced from this page here.

2 Comments

Filed under College Football, Eagles, General, NBA, NFL, Olympics, Sixers

The Pundit Poll – How will the Eagles finish the season?

Well, after the victory over the Giants, we can actually have this discussion. Are the Eagles looking like a playoff team to you, or will they break your heart? Do you think they may hot-streak their way to the Superbowl, or will they be golfing come playoff time? Here’s your forum, people – vote, and feel free to comment in support of your vote.

3 Comments

Filed under College Football, Eagles, General, NBA, NFL, Olympics