Michael Smith, apparently the man in the know these days, has reported that the Cowboys are cutting TO. Ah, how the mighty have fallen. Here at The Pattison Pundit, I am reporting that, according to my sources (Editor’s note: Insert hyperactive imagination here), TO is reportedly blaming this roster cut on secretive meetings Karma has been having with Jerry Jones. Per my sources:
What it boils down to, according to TO, is that Jones, after a disappointing season, began to consult with Karma, who was recently brought into the fold in an advisory role to evaluate the team’s chemistry. TO, who has had very rough encounters with Karma in the past, is assuming that the appointment of Karma is responsible for his removal from the Cowboys.
Interesting stuff. Ah, but it gets better.
Though nobody on the Cowboys will come out and say it, the implication seems to be that Karma has never particularly thought highly of Owens, and given the Cowboys recent disappointments, was finally able to catch up to him. According to people across the league, Karma has been miffed since the Garcia days, and was truly angered by the Donovan McNabb situation. While Jerry Jones has refused comment, one official with the Cowboys noted that, upon appointment, Karma wasted no time in mentioning that TO might be a player to cut ties with.
Heavy. I wondered whether or not Karma had any issue with other players.
TO seems to think he has been singled out on this one, while other Cowboys aren’t so sure. TO went so far as to say that Karma has been an ear for guys like Romo and Witten, while never making himself available to Owens. Other Cowboys in the locker room insist, however, that TO seems to avoid Karma, and is almost confrontational with him when the two do meet. Many of the Cowboys have accepted the presence of Karma this offseason, citing their underachievement last year as justification for his place on the team.
Ah, the circus that is the Cowboys. Not knowing much about this shadowy figure they simply refer to as Karma, I asked my sources what other role he has played.
Karma has bounced around the NFL quite a bit. He made a name for himself with the Buffalo Bills in the early nineties, though to this day, nobody is entirely sure why he was given that position. He spent a few years with the Bengals, before being appointed by the NFL to the Patriots last season. Behind closed doors, Karma had been pining for the Cowboys job, though it is said he would have seriously considered taking a position with the Eagles, specifically after hearing that Brian Dawkins was leaving town. The post with the Cowboys, however, was simply too good to pass up.
So there you have it. An interesting story, indeed. Of course, Owens will probably deny all of this, but we all know it’s true. I’ll wrap things up with a very interesting motto that Karma apparently lives by:
If it looks like a rat, and it smells like a rat – well, it will probably get exterminated.
See you on your front lawn, Terrell.