Ryan Howard wants 18 million smackers? The Pundit ain’t so sure ’bout that

$18 million? That figure is higher than Snoop Dogg on 4/20. (Editor’s note: Does anybody actually know the significance of that date? Is this really it?) I mean, that seems just a smidge high, considering the Phillies’ offer of $14 million would be a $4 million dollar raise. (Editor’s note: Insert Sarcasm Here).

That sure is some thick cigarette smoke...

That sure is some thick cigarette smoke...

Damn, a $4 million raise – I would settle for a $4/hour raise. (Editor’s note: I told him selling that body of his would never pay the bills).

Let’s break this down a bit further – how much money per HR, based on last year’s stats, would that be?

$375,000. Wow. Then again, in September, every single one was worth the loot.

Alright – how about RBI’s?

$123,280. Ridiculous as it might be, that actually sounds about right, at least for a power hitter of his caliber.

And now, my favorite one of all – the beloved K’s.

$90,450. Obviously, the Phillies aren’t paying him to strikeout, but they are paying him, and he does strikeout. A lot. Every strikeout, were Howard to win his arbitration, would be worth ninety friggin’ grand! Somewhere in the Delaware Valley, a teacher just internally combusted.

Oh, no...not Mr. Feeny! Noooooooooooooo!

Oh, no...not Mr. Feeny! Noooooooooooooo!

Last year, I expected him to win, and thought he deserved it when he did. This year? Sorry, buddy – asking for a bit too much this time.

But in other news on the Phils front, they did avoid arbitration with Blanton and Victorino, agreeing to one-year deals for each. This, after already agreeing to contracts with Hamels, Madson, and Dobbs.

After Monday, I just want to get this thing started up again. Screw the Super Bowl – pitchers and catchers, let’s start warming up a bit early this year.

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2 Comments

Filed under MLB, Phillies

2 responses to “Ryan Howard wants 18 million smackers? The Pundit ain’t so sure ’bout that

  1. skee

    I think 4 years/max 100mil. Include mandatory weight clauses. I believe Ryan would be about 32-33 yrs. old then. Thank the young man at that point, wish him good luck.

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