Don’t jinx our Birds. The Pundit’s pregame speech (to the fans)

The day is upon us. We’ve been waiting all week for this, and it’s finally here. By now, the beer should be chilled. The course (of food) should be set. The pregame outfit should be washed, or left dirty; it should be pressed, or left wrinkled. Faces must be painted – houses must be decorated. As fans, we have but one duty to our Eagles:

Maintain the routine.

Maybe, deep down, we all know that the sweatshirt we wear, or the hat we choose, has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on the outcome of the game. Maybe it doesn’t matter if we get the lunch meat for the hoagies from the local deli at exactly 12:30 PM, or if we are wearing two socks that don’t match, and might not even be our own. Surely, drinking exactly 3 1/2 beers, downing 2 shots, and demolishing a cheesesteak doused in ketchup before the game won’t actually send any luck toward our team. It would be ridiculous to think that replacing every light bulb in the house with green bulbs and leaving “Fly Like an Eagle” by Steve Miller Band on repeat for an hour before kickoff could actually aid in the Eagles performance.

And yet, silly as it may seem, full of folly as it possibly is, there’s always that one, final question we all must face:

“But what if I change my routine, and the Eagles lose?”

I’ll be damned if I’m willing to take that chance.

So guzzle the exact amount of beer you do every week before the game. Get together with the same group of people, at the same house, and take the same seat you do each and every Sunday. Proudly don your lucky jersey. Take pride in displaying your Brian Dawkins figurine on top of the television. Belt out “Fly Eagles Fly” at the very top of your lungs. Slowly run your fingers through the glorious playoff beard you have sprouted. (Editor’s note: Alright, things just got out of hand). Do whatever it is you do each week.

We can’t take any chances, people. So be a fan. And damnit, let’s go kick some Cardinal ass!

You know how we finish this bad boy…

E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!

Let’s get it on.

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3 Comments

Filed under Eagles, NFL, The Pregame Speech

3 responses to “Don’t jinx our Birds. The Pundit’s pregame speech (to the fans)

  1. Nanners

    You’ve inspired me! I used our dk green Christmas table cloth, wrapped it around a wreath and trimmed it with my black scarf: WHALLAH –
    an Eagle’s wreath on our front door!!!!
    G O E A G L E S ! ! !

  2. pattisonpundit

    See, now that’s the spirit, people.

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