(Editor’s note: Ah, New Year’s. A time of year for all of the various articles handing out “best-of-the-year” awards to come pouring out. Not to be outdone, The Pundit has joined in the holiday tradition with his first annual “Punny Awards.” One quick note: These awards will not include the current Flyers, Sixers, or any of the college basketball teams. Everything will be from teams that played the majority of their season in 2008. On to the awards!)
Award shows are really where it’s at. I mean, they’re so ridiculous. Famous audience members pretending to not posture for the camera. Cheesy video montages. And, my favorite, the poorly scripted and unenthusiastically delivered introductions to each award by disinterested celebrities who are probably half-tanked. I think that’s how we’ll run the Punnies.
And so, with that in mind, please put your hands together for Samuel L. Jackson, who will be presenting the Punny for Quote of the Year. Continue reading
Alright, first things first. In my previous post, I make mention of a strange phenomenon that seems to occur in Philadelphia sports – namely, that when our teams seem to be down for the count, and nobody has any hope left in them at all, they choose that moment to play their best and completely surprise everyone with a stunning revival. I entitled this phenomenon the Philly Hopeless Theory.
And quite frankly, that is the dumbest effing name ever.
Plus, there’s already a pretty simple name for such a phenomenon, Continue reading
(Editor’s note: Especially because he missed most of yesterday unfold, instead spending his day in New York, enjoying the Jets vs. Dolphins. Thus, he can’t really offer a full game analysis – but he has a few thoughts and tidbits he thinks you will enjoy).
At times, I can be prophetic. Like this little snippet from my previous post:
A friend of mine gave me a ticket to the Jets vs. Dolphins game, a game that literally means everything for each team. Playoff implications definitely on the line, Mangini’s job probably on the line, possibly the end of Favre’s career. (Editor’s note: Riiiiiiiiight). Plus, if I don’t watch the Eagles, this will be the week that everything goes just right for the Birds, and they’ll somehow sneak into the dance. All because I didn’t watch. Life’s a bitch sometimes.
But I’d take it.
(Editors’s note: The Pundit wrote much of this while listening to “Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth with Money in my Hand” by the Primitive Radio Gods. Over and over again, really. If you’re interested in the full interactive experience, he recommends you listen while you read this post. It adds a melancholy curiosity – and its an awesome friggin’ song).
What, oh what, will Sunday mean? Will it somehow, majestically, become a game with playoff implications for the Eagles?
Or will it simply be the end of the season?
(Editors’ note: Ah, our poetic Pundit. In lieu of both the holiday season and the most recent Eagles loss, The Pundit has adapted an old Christmas classic. With an Eagles theme, of course. It’s not perfect – apparently, the original is pretty damn long. But it comes close. Without further ado, The Pattison Pundit presents: “The Loss Before Christmas.”
‘Twas the loss before Christmas, and all through the town
Everyone waited for the Birds/Skins showdown.
They controlled their own destiny as they walked to the field
For Tampa had faltered, and Dallas had reeled
ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?
(Sigh) Well, the Eagles had everything fall into place for them before the start of the game. Tampa Bay lost to San Diego, and there it was in front of our Birds: win two, and head off to the playoffs.
And they couldn’t do it.
Wait, that can’t be right. I mean, first, we had the controversy with Lito Sheppard. And all of the talk about how we couldn’t stop anybody’s running game and how Donovan couldn’t win the close ones. And then we tied the friggin’ Bengals, and Donovan admitted he didn’t know how the overtime system worked. Than, he got benched against the Ravens, for Chrissakes. All of this while most of Philly was calling for Andy Reid’s head on a silver platter, because of the unbalanced play-calling, and his terrible record at replay challenges, and his clock-management, and his inability to make in-game adjustments, and his personnel decisions, and…
Awwww dude, that is so not cool. Yeah, um, that was the only picture we could find with a head on a platter. Right...
Where does the whole sane thing come into play, exactly?
Before I get assaulted for assuming an Eagles victory this weekend against the Redskins, let me preface this post: the Redskins may be in turmoil, but this is an NFC East rivalry game. These teams don’t have much love for one another. The Redskins are still a pretty good team, and they want to salvage some respect. By no means is this game a given.
But, assuming the Eagles do win, the damn flex schedule for the following week has only added to the drama at the close of the regular season. And it’s killing me.
Stewart Bradley is a multi-tasker. Skip to about the 8:45 mark on the audio below from an interview of Bradley on the Jody Mac show on 950 ESPN Radio, and listen for a certain whooshing sound. Maybe he thought it was a shitty interview? (Editor’s note: Or maybe he was just in a pissy mood).
Jody Mac interview w/ Stewart Bradley
More Eagles thoughts after the jump…