(Editor’s note: Ah, New Year’s. A time of year for all of the various articles handing out “best-of-the-year” awards to come pouring out. Not to be outdone, The Pundit has joined in the holiday tradition with his first annual “Punny Awards.” One quick note: These awards will not include the current Flyers, Sixers, or any of the college basketball teams. Everything will be from teams that played the majority of their season in 2008. On to the awards!)
Award shows are really where it’s at. I mean, they’re so ridiculous. Famous audience members pretending to not posture for the camera. Cheesy video montages. And, my favorite, the poorly scripted and unenthusiastically delivered introductions to each award by disinterested celebrities who are probably half-tanked. I think that’s how we’ll run the Punnies.
And so, with that in mind, please put your hands together for Samuel L. Jackson, who will be presenting the Punny for Quote of the Year. Continue reading
Alright, first things first. In my previous post, I make mention of a strange phenomenon that seems to occur in Philadelphia sports – namely, that when our teams seem to be down for the count, and nobody has any hope left in them at all, they choose that moment to play their best and completely surprise everyone with a stunning revival. I entitled this phenomenon the Philly Hopeless Theory.
And quite frankly, that is the dumbest effing name ever.
Plus, there’s already a pretty simple name for such a phenomenon, Continue reading
(Editor’s note: Especially because he missed most of yesterday unfold, instead spending his day in New York, enjoying the Jets vs. Dolphins. Thus, he can’t really offer a full game analysis – but he has a few thoughts and tidbits he thinks you will enjoy).
At times, I can be prophetic. Like this little snippet from my previous post:
A friend of mine gave me a ticket to the Jets vs. Dolphins game, a game that literally means everything for each team. Playoff implications definitely on the line, Mangini’s job probably on the line, possibly the end of Favre’s career. (Editor’s note: Riiiiiiiiight). Plus, if I don’t watch the Eagles, this will be the week that everything goes just right for the Birds, and they’ll somehow sneak into the dance. All because I didn’t watch. Life’s a bitch sometimes.
But I’d take it.
(Editors’s note: The Pundit wrote much of this while listening to “Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth with Money in my Hand” by the Primitive Radio Gods. Over and over again, really. If you’re interested in the full interactive experience, he recommends you listen while you read this post. It adds a melancholy curiosity – and its an awesome friggin’ song).
What, oh what, will Sunday mean? Will it somehow, majestically, become a game with playoff implications for the Eagles?
Or will it simply be the end of the season?
(Editors’ note: Ah, our poetic Pundit. In lieu of both the holiday season and the most recent Eagles loss, The Pundit has adapted an old Christmas classic. With an Eagles theme, of course. It’s not perfect – apparently, the original is pretty damn long. But it comes close. Without further ado, The Pattison Pundit presents: “The Loss Before Christmas.”
‘Twas the loss before Christmas, and all through the town
Everyone waited for the Birds/Skins showdown.
They controlled their own destiny as they walked to the field
For Tampa had faltered, and Dallas had reeled
ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?
(Sigh) Well, the Eagles had everything fall into place for them before the start of the game. Tampa Bay lost to San Diego, and there it was in front of our Birds: win two, and head off to the playoffs.
And they couldn’t do it.