My Grandma, or as I call her, Nanny, is pretty cool. She stays in touch with me much of the time through emails, and they are often clever and witty. Anywho, she recently sent me a bunch of Eagles jokes she either made up or came across on her Internet travels. (Editor’s note: www.marthastewart.com?) Here, for your enjoyment, are a bunch of Grandma Roasts aimed at your 2008 Philadelphia Eagles.
Q. What do you call 47 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Philadelphia Eagles.
Q. How do you keep the Philadelphia Eagles out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal post. (Editor’s note: I would have also accepted two pylons and a chalked line).
Q. Where do you go in Philadelphia in case of a tornado?
A. To the Linc – they never have a touchdown there!
Q. What do you call a Philadelphia Eagle with a Super Bowl ring?
A. A thief.
Q. What’s the difference between the Philadelphia Eagles and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill. (Editor’s note: And probably a few dime bags from Correll Buckhalter – zzzzzzzzing!)
Q. How many Philadelphia Eagles does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A. Nobody knows and we may never find out. (Editor’s note: And forget about getting that lightbulb screwed in).
Q. What do the Philadelphia Eagles and a possum have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road. (Editor’s note: That one is my favorite – ladies and gentlemen, your 2008 Philadelphia Possums!)
Will the rest of this season be a bad joke as well? Here’s hoping the Ravens are the punchline on Sunday…